Welcome to whatever is on my mind!

Some people use the term "nonsense" but I prefer to use the phrase "uncommonly sensed" because it's more reflective of creative types.

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Creepy Things

In honor of Halloween, I’ve compiled a list of things that I find creepy.  So read on and feel the chill run up and down your spine... and hope that the tingling on your scalp isn’t squirrels nesting in your hair.
1. Clowns.  This one is  a no brainer and I can’t explain it any better than the Simpson’s or Steven King, so I’ll just leave it at that.  Although John Connolly wrote one of the best horror short stories about this topic. Check it out if you like that sort of thing - it’s in his book “Nocturnes.” 
2. Doll heads, particularly the severed kind.  In fact, when I was a teenager I used to pop the head off a barbie and dangle it by the hair to watch my best friend freak out.  But I always kept the eyes facing away from me.  I’m not stupid.
3. Pencil mustaches.  Nothing says “child molester” quite like a pencil mustache.
4. Bradford pears.  Whores.  All of them.
5. Small children who won’t go to bed on time.  This is mostly because I hallucinate under the effects of sleep deprivation.  I’m convinced that my own children were miniature researchers doing sleep deprivation experiments on me.  I don’t know where they put all the data they collected, but I know it wasn’t in their diapers because I searched them thoroughly.  Upon reflection, that location probably would have been too obvious.  But I digress.
6. Bad vocalists.  Especially the kind who don’t know that they’re tone deaf and still insist on getting up in front of a crowd.  Great.  Now that I’ve thought about this I won’t sleep tonight because I’ll be afraid of having karaoke dreams.
7. The inside of the mind of anyone who would willingly run for political office. There should be public service announcements such as: “This is your brain.  This is your brain drunk on the thought of having power and not understanding the full and eternal consequences to the rest of your own life or that of your family members.  This is a bad walnut, shriveled and black and a little smelly.  No.  Switch the last two.”
Now think about what you find creepy and enjoy the scare.  Happy Halloween!


  1. Thanks, Heidi. I stole it from Facebook :) I was at your blog this morning and love the main photo you have there. It's beautiful.

  2. ha! funny! especially the bradford pears. i had to look those up since they are not native here. wikipedia says they have weak crotches. sounds whore-like to me!

  3. Fairview - They are very weak ornamental fruit trees that break easily. For more info on why they're whores you can check out my earlier blog post on the topic found here: http://neftzger.blogspot.com/2011/04/bradford-pear-whore-among-trees.html

    As you can see, I don't like these trees!

  4. Hi Amy. Though the picture on your post is hard to beat, you're prose came out on top. Love your sense of humor. Love how you hooked me and kept me reading to the end. Well done.

  5. Thanks, Margaret - nice to have you here!

  6. heehee... love the picture Amy! And I agree about the doll heads. *shudder* their eyes just follow you wherever you go in the room. Eeek.

  7. That photo is so awesome! And I am just stopping by to say thanks for following. :)

    I totally agree with the clowns. And doll heads. But clowns freak me out. My neighbour once bought this clown toy and it was about a metre tall. Let's just say that I was a little more than freaked out by having it it my room..


  8. I love that photo. I guess that pumpkin had too much candy corn. I don't know what is about clowns, but they are completely creepy! :)

  9. That pumpkin...Man.
    I saw this on your other site. Don't show this to someone having an actual hangover or who may be high. Nothing good will come of it.

  10. Here's mine:

    Teenage girls who look/dress like hookers- I have a 15 yr old daughter so I see this a lot from her classmates. It's just wrong and creepy.

    Rapid Middle aged college football fans - you're cheering/jeering 18 yr old boys. Think about that.

    Boob jobs and facelifts on women over the age of 50 at my gym. Age gracefilly, ladies, age gracefully. Natural beauty radiates, fake beauty nauseates.

    Nickelback. The band and their fans. Awful and very creepy.


  11. lancemyblogcanbeatupyourblog - I totally agree that people who don't age gracefully (including some men) can be extremely creepy when they stay in denial. Aging can be beautiful, but not if the person tries to artificially remain a teenager!

  12. Clowns and pencil mustaches freak me out too! I love the picture haha. Thanks for stopping by my blog :) I'm a new follower!

    Amy @ Following The Reader

  13. Hi, Amy! I just started following your blog, also. You have such a fabulous first name that I couldn't resist ;)

  14. Hilarious! Love the picture! I also can totally relate to 1,2,3, and 7. All 4 of them creep me out! You worded everything perfectly. :)


  15. That picture is fantastic! I'm with you on the clowns, how children can think they are nice is beyond me. Wooden marionettes really creep me out as well.