tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-90883404761139947662024-03-05T00:05:45.484-08:00Amy Neftzger's BlogAmy Neftzger, author, researcher, and drummer writes about whatever she wants on this blog. She is internationally published in both fiction and nonfiction. For more information, please visit her website at <a href="http://www.amyneftzger.com/">amyneftzger.com</a>Amy Neftzgerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07290229026909232592noreply@blogger.comBlogger169125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9088340476113994766.post-16588014353412237542021-07-31T08:15:00.003-07:002021-08-02T12:31:41.064-07:00RIP Vanderbilt Carmichael Towers (1966 - 2021)<p>The remaining Vanderbilt Carmichael Towers passed into eternal rest on the morning of July 31, 2021 at 9:00 AM central time. The towers perished as a result of assisted suicide with explosives. It was a dignified and spectacular end to a life of humble service. <br /><br />The towers were born in 1966 and were a landmark on West End Avenue for more than fifty years. They achieved 153 feet and fourteen stories, housing thousands of students, legendary parties, and a few unwanted pregnancies. The ramen noodles cooked within those walls number in the millions.<br /><br />While an example of modernism for their time, the towers eventually became outdated. Nevertheless, for decades these sturdy walls supported students through finals, all-nighters, and weekend keggers. The towers stood firm when drunken students couldn’t.<br /><br />The towers are survived by a scenic campus with other historic buildings, state of the art housing, and a football team that could use a little work. We will remember the Vanderbilt Carmichael Towers with gratitude for a life well-lived and for supporting so many through those transitional college years. Rest in peace, Old Friends. The memories you made will live on.<br /><br /></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.blogger.com/video.g?token=AD6v5dzEqhVAY5wEKyEqqZ8cbmZh0tnJm0a8PMCYRI27lN9NnaIEvM0vtyfTCmqFsHg8BNUTBh9PuDRJTOX0NB99nQ' class='b-hbp-video b-uploaded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div><br />Amy Neftzgerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07290229026909232592noreply@blogger.com02201 West End Ave, Nashville, TN 37235, USA36.1447034 -86.80265517.8344695638211519 -121.9589051 64.454937236178836 -51.646405099999996tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9088340476113994766.post-81924973618532062552018-05-13T06:08:00.000-07:002018-05-13T06:08:11.631-07:00How to Be The Best Mom Ever<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br /><br />I always sign notes to my kids from “The Best Mom Ever.” After all, they’ve never had any other mother, so how would they know if I’m lying? Did they shop around before choosing me? Did they order their mom from a catalog before they were born?<br /><br />The truth is that every mother who puts forth an effort is The Best Mom Ever because motherhood is the hardest job. Ever. No other job pays so little and demands 24/7 from a person, yet for some reason mothers are always thinking that we can do better.<br /><br />But no one is perfect. If every kid had a mother who made their lives run as smoothly and sweetly as a milkshake, then no one would learn to be compassionate or how to handle stress, and these evolve from understanding that not everything can be controlled. No child will fully mature unless they learn personal responsibility, and if everything is managed for children they don’t learn to manage themselves. We need imperfect environments and bumpy roads to help us grow.<br /><br />So if you want to be The Best Mom Ever ask yourself these questions:<br /><br />1. Am I doing what I think is right?<br />2. Do I consider the best interests of my chil(dren) when making decisions?<br /><br />If so, then relax. You may not be perfect, but you’re still The Best Mom Ever.<br /><br />Happy Mother’s Day!Amy Neftzgerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07290229026909232592noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9088340476113994766.post-70267071548017301672017-10-31T06:30:00.000-07:002017-10-31T06:30:05.405-07:00Looking for Creepy?You may not be aware that the celebration of <a href="http://jrnl.ie/3667762" target="_blank">Halloween originated here in Ireland</a>. Unless, of course, you're Irish (or possibly Welsh or from another nearby location).<br />
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So, in preparation for Halloween I visited two of the most haunted places in Ireland. Because that's what I do for fun. Let's face it: anything that's haunted has a good story behind it, and I love good stories. So I had to explore.<br />
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The first place I visited is Loftus Hall, which offers special Halloween-themed tours of the diabolical building. Prior to taking the tour I spoke with a local who had gone through the building a few years ago and insisted that she would never set foot in it ever again because she was convinced it was completely evil. Lord Loftus was apparently not a very nice man, and the stories of his brutal mistreatment of servants and family members are so legendary he is rumored to have been close personal friends with the devil.<br />
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The second location I visited is in the Dublin Mountains and is known as The Hellfire Club. This building sits at the top of Mountpelier hill, and has a very dark past starting with the fact that the builder took stones from an ancient druid burial site to construct the building. The devil is reported to have been so outraged over this blasphemous act that he blew off the roof of the building within days of construction. <a href="https://www.irishtimes.com/news/ireland/irish-news/ancient-passage-tomb-found-beneath-dublin-s-hellfire-club-1.2835325" target="_blank">Archeologists have recently validated that there is a 4,500 year old tomb beneath the building</a>, so while not all the stories about the lodge and it’s owners may be true they appear to have their roots buried within some level of truth.<br />
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You can read more about the dark histories of these buildings in other places (see below for links). What I found interesting is that they share a story in common. No one knows if the same incident happened twice, or if folklore has attributed the same incident to 2 different locations. This wouldn’t be surprising, given that Lord Loftus also owned a hunting lodge in the Dublin Mountains, and the owners of these two lodges were both known for the brutal treatment and occasional murder of servants.<br />
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The story is that there was a group of individuals playing cards on a stormy evening, when a dark visitor arrived and asked for shelter while the storm passed. The gentleman joined the game and everything appeared to be going fine when one of the ladies accidentally dropped one her cards beneath the table. As the young lady reached for the card she noticed that the stranger wasn’t wearing boots, but had hoofs instead of regular feet. When the young lady screamed, the stranger burst into flames and vanished.<br />
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In the Loftus Hall version the daughter then becomes pregnant out of wedlock and is locked in her room for a decade or so (some say she died during this imprisonment and was buried within the walls of the house for a period, which is why her ghost remains there). In the Hellfire Club version the hunting lodge is turned into a place of satanic rituals complete with human and animal sacrifices (among other debauchery).<br />
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Regardless of what you believe, these two places definitely deliver the creep factor.<br />
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Here are a few photos I took of the Hellfire Club. <br />
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Loftus Hall doesn't allow pictures of the interior, but here's a quick picture I took as the moon was rising just prior to my visit.<br />
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Learn more about Loftus Hall and The Hellfire Club by clicking on these links:<br />
<a href="http://loftushall.ie/loftus-hall-set-to-reawaken-665-years-of-history/" target="_blank">Loftus Hall</a><br />
<a href="https://dublin.ie/living/articles/the-hell-fire-club/" target="_blank">The Hellfire Club</a><br />
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<br />Amy Neftzgerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07290229026909232592noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9088340476113994766.post-27839159581654257062017-06-12T05:00:00.000-07:002017-06-12T05:00:23.684-07:00Discovering Philip K. Dick<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I wasn't a big reader of science fiction, so I’d never read Philip K. Dick’s work, despite having seen Bladerunner over a dozen times. However, I recently watched the Amazon series The Man in the High castle, and while I loved the first season I lost interest during the second season. That’s when I asked the age-old question: How much better was the book?<br /><br />We all know that movies and TV series almost always fall short of the books upon which these are based. A visual medium has some advantages over the printed word, but it also has limitations. A picture is worth a thousand words, but the printed word has the ability to provide insight into the cognitive depth of the characters. This is where the Amazon series fell short for me: it began with an alternate reality in which the characters discover the possibility of an alternate reality that is our current reality.<br /><br />If this sounds a bit like reality inception, that’s because it is - but this concept alone isn’t what made the book more interesting. The characters’ psychological responses to the threat (or promise) of a different reality and the conjectures they make on the plausibility of our current reality are fascinating. This provides insight into the subjective nature of perception, especially when it comes to politics. It’s more than a simple picture of what things would look like if Hitler had won WWII. This books explores human nature and our psychological defenses. In other words, it’s the human, rather than scientific, element that makes the book speak to us.<br /><br />I have since finished both Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep (which became the movie “Bladerunner”) and The Man in the High Castle, and am starting on Ubik, considered by many critics to be Dick’s masterpiece. I have a lot of respect for Philip K. Dick as a writer after reading these books. Even if you don’t think you’d like science fiction, you might want to sample a bit of this author’s work. It’s worth your time. Amy Neftzgerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07290229026909232592noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9088340476113994766.post-43686785353961556772017-03-13T03:48:00.002-07:002017-03-13T03:48:28.640-07:00Letters to a Young Writer<br />
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Colum McCann has put together a collection of essays advising would-be writers. In an age where anyone can publish, this book addresses the serious writer and not those who engage in the profession as an endeavor to earn a fast buck. This book is about the craft of writing and the process of creation. It’s not about getting rich quickly.<br /><br />Sure, we’d all love a best seller. However, financially motivated art often lacks the substance needed to draw an audience. This book is about the process which may or may not result in financial gain. If you have the disease of writing it is in your blood and you will seek to cultivate it more or less like an addiction, rather than an occupation. There is no way not to write if it’s within you. The worst part is that simply scratching down words isn’t enough: those of us with the writing bug must also continually seek improvement. That’s where this book comes into play.<br /><br />A good part of writing is finding the connection with readers, and that only happens when we’re engaged and willing to be exposed in order to establish this relationship. McCann addresses this in his essay “The First Line.” He advises that each story should open with a natural flow, without forcing too much information upon the reader too quickly. Think of it like a first date: the goal is to incite interest but not to overwhelm or frighten the reader. This is the art of pacing or as McCann says, “achieving a balance.”<br /><br />The book addresses the rules of writing by stating that “there are no rules,” but when the author states that you can dispose of grammar only when you know these rules he is really saying that you must understand this agreement of structure between the writer and reader before making the decision of when to ignore it. It’s like knowing when to use slang and when to avoid it. Once you know the purpose of these rules you can make a more informed decision about how well your piece fits into - or needs to be free from them.<br /><br />This book was outstanding and one of the best I've read concerning the art of writing. It encourages creative types to get out of their internal vortex and to see their work from the reader's perspective, which is essential for gaining an appreciative audience. It also covers topics such as writer's block (which he refers to as "The terror of the white page"), why we tell stories, and handling critics. The essays are short and filled with bits of wisdom and insight that can assist writers at all stages of a career.<br /><br />If you loved Stephen King's "On Writing" then this book is definitely for you. If you’re very new to writing and looking for practical advice on how to get your published, then the book isn’t for you. However, if you know that writing is your calling and there’s no way to avoid it - this is highly recommended reading.<br />
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<a href="https://www.amazon.com/Letters-Young-Writer-Practical-Philosophical/dp/0399590803/" target="_blank">Letters to a Young Writer</a> is releasing on April 4, 2017.<br /><br />Amy Neftzgerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07290229026909232592noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9088340476113994766.post-88329598739816642752016-10-26T05:49:00.003-07:002016-10-26T05:51:56.179-07:00Book Review: The Pier Falls<br />
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If I were to compare the craft of writing to the field of architecture, I’d say that Mark Haddon is like the Frank Lloyd Wright of the literary world. His writing is modern and graceful with some experimental elements, but it’s always structurally sound and high quality. Haddon is most well known for his 2003 book The Curious Incident of the Dog In The Night-Time, but he’s been publishing his work for over two decades and has a number of titles for both adults and children. His latest book is a collection of short stories called <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Pier-Falls-Other-Stories/dp/0385540752" target="_blank">The Pier Falls and Other Stories</a>.<br />
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The issue with many short story collections is the lack of relationship the stories have to one another. Sometimes I feel like a shopper at a bargain bin when I read these types of books, wondering if the contents of the bin even came from the same source. However, this collection holds together through several underlying themes, as well as the consistency of the writing. Haddon takes the reader to an equilibrium on the edge between mythology and modernity, showing the transcendence of the human experience through his characters. There’s a rational-spiritual dichotomy peeking through the prose at numerous points, but the text always feels real.<br />
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Because these are short stories, a number of different themes are explored in different settings. For example, in the title piece The Pier Falls the author explores tragedy by showing us both the horrible and the absurd manifested side by side as a pier collapses into the ocean. Individuals grasp for life or succumb to death as a Strauss recording continues to play over loudspeakers during the event, reminding victims that life will waltz on with or without them.<br />
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In the story The Island, we’re given a re-telling of Ariadne’s final days on the island of Dias. Unlike Homer’s Odyssey, this version is in first person and we get to hear Ariadne process the events leading up to her death as she struggles for survival.<br />
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The theme of Loneliness also comes up in several of the pieces, with each story examining a different facet of it. We see the complexity of human relationships as circumstances and situations molds these bonds. A particular experience may have a lasting impact which can bring people together or tear them apart from one another or themselves.<br />
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In The Woodpecker and The Wolf a woman goes to space to escape relationships, but then becomes pregnant. The space mission encounters troubles and the woman watches the other astronauts perish, including the baby’s father. The struggle for survival and the new life for which she now feels responsible causes her to reassess her relationships and what she valued in them.<br />
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Diazepam makes an appearance in several of the pieces, acknowledging our modern tendency to self-medicate. This theme of self-medicating is explored more fully in the story titled Bunny, in which a morbidly obese man feels that his hunger and disappointment are more painful than the consequences of his overeating, and so he eats. Lots.<br />
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Haddon is a modern writer that I strongly recommend to many would-be writers. His style is modern, functional, and graceful without being ostentatious. His work definitely falls under the label of "literary" and shows remarkable facility to move back and forth between verb tenses keeps the reader centered on the story without feeling the jerk between past and present. His characters are complex but not over-explained or overtly obvious. The plots are cultivated in such a manner as to appear natural and yet perfectly manicured at the same time. Writing should always reflect life, but literary writing uses language and plot structure to explore it more fully. Haddon accomplishes that in these stories.<br />
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Several of the pieces in The Pier Falls have been previously published in literary journals, so if you’re reluctant to plunge into the whole book you can find a few of these stories online. Whether you read a sample of these stories online or purchase the entire book is up to you. Regardless, I encourage individuals looking for some great modern fiction to read them. The writing feels effortless, as good writing should, but afterwards it also causes me to marvel at how well it’s put together. It’s the sort of book that easily gets me on the train without me first asking where it will go or when it will arrive. I know that I’ll enjoy the ride, and the scenery will be worth my time.Amy Neftzgerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07290229026909232592noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9088340476113994766.post-58885372307708129522016-10-17T07:56:00.003-07:002016-10-17T07:56:59.278-07:00Genevieve Cogman's Invisible Library<br />
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Genevieve Cogman is the author of The Invisible Library fantasy book series for young adults. A few months ago I received an advance review copy of the first book from the publisher and I enjoyed the story very much. The second book in this series have now been released and I’m looking forward to reading it. What I enjoyed most about the first book was the concept of a hidden library hat contains versions of books from alternate universes. The thought that there could be hundreds or thousands of versions of our favorite stories is appealing to a reader such as myself. Aside from the incredible library, what caught my attention in her writing were the strong characters and action sequences - something we don’t typically associate with a book about books. This is truly an adventure novel that keeps moving. I had an opportunity to interview Genevieve and here are her responses to some of my questions.<br /><br /><b>Q: You’ve written some strong female characters in this book. Can you describe what inspired each of these (Irene, Coppelia, and Bradamant) characters?</b><br />A: I’m not sure any of them have a single point of inspiration. Irene is the standard protagonist who just wants to get on with the job, and finds herself with too many things to juggle at once. She’s also a thorough bookworm and daydreamer (which is why she picked the name “Irene”, after all) and a competent operative, a little bit Modesty Blaise though also a lot of Moneypenny. <br />Coppelia’s the mentor who knows more than she’s prepared to admit, a Librarian with a lot of history (such as why she’s got a mechanical arm) and her own personal tastes in literature. (For the record, she likes science fiction, particularly books about artificial intelligence.) <br />And Bradamant’s the rival who has a past history with the protagonist, and whose methods and morality are different enough that they come into conflict about how to achieve their goals, though they end up working together. She’s a person whose first argument is always “the ends justify the means”, and who sees herself as a misunderstood hard worker who makes the hard choices which nobody else will commit to. <br />I think that ultimately any of them could have been male or female. First and foremost, they’re people. <br /><b><br />Q: What sort of research did you do in preparation for (or during) the writing of these books?</b><br />A: I did quite a lot of investigation on the internet into things like the geography of London, famous missing or never-written books, the British Museum and the British Library, and how to spell Liechtenstein. I also read and reread my collected Sherlock Holmes stories by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle to try and get the vocal patterns and habits correct. And for the action scenes, I watched quite a lot of Hong Kong action movies (a long-term addiction of mine). <br /><b><br />Q: What scenes were the easiest to write (and why)? Were any scenes difficult?</b><br />A: I think the hardest scene to write may have been the one where Irene is explaining about the Library to Vale, because I was trying to convey quite a lot of information, but I didn’t want the scene to get boring or slow down too much. I’m not sure that I can say any scene or scenes was the “easiest”. They all took work. <br /><b><br />Q: What authors do you enjoy reading (and what do you like about their work)?</b><br />A: I don’t want to give you a list of several dozen authors (which would barely be scratching the surface), so I’ll try to think of a few favourites. Lois McMaster Bujold, Kage Baker, Naomi Novik, Terry Pratchett, Ben Aaronovitch, Paul Cornell, Tamora Pierce, Diane Duane, Steven Brust, Charles Stross, Barbara Hambly, Pat Mills, GK Chesterton, JRR Tolkien, Mary Renault, John Dickson Carr, JK Rowling, John M Ford, Barry Hughart... I find a wide spectrum of things in their writing, including interesting characters, well-handled narrative, good description, brilliant dialogue, imaginative concepts, and stories which sweep you along once you get into them and make it hard to stop reading. I want to read different things at different times. Sometimes I really want a book that makes me think (like John M Ford or Mary Renault), and sometimes I just want something which I can settle into and enjoy.<br />
<br /><b>Q: If you’ve ever read a book more than once, please give the name of the book and explain why you chose to re-read it.</b><br />A: If I’ve read a book once and enjoyed it, then I’m almost certainly going to read it again at some point. (There’s a reason why my flat is overfull of books...) I’m afraid the answer to this question is “far too many to count”, and “because I enjoyed reading it the first time”. I’m a very fast reader.<br /><b><br />Q: What are the top 3 items on your bucket list?</b><br />A: At the moment:<br />See a live performance of the musical Elisabeth.<br />See a production by the Takarazuka Revue while in Japan (this includes going to Japan!)<br />Visit Hong Kong.<br /><b><br />Q: Tell me about your favorite things: favorite travel location, favorite food, favorite drink, favorite activity, favorite museum, favorite library(ies), favorite book, favorite movie, and favorite band or song.</b><br />A: Bearing in mind that all these are my current favourites, and may change in the future if I come across something new which I like better:<br />Favorite travel location - Venice<br />Favorite food – Chicken liver risotto (my father’s recipe) <br />Favorite drink - Coffee <br />Favorite activity - Reading <br />Favorite museum – I used to love going to the Geological Museum in London, though I haven’t been there for ages. <br />Favorite library(ies) – No particular favourite, they’re all valued. <br />Favorite book – Journey to the West, by Wu Cheng’en<br />Favorite movie – Brotherhood of the Wolf<br />Favorite band or song – Pardonne-moi, by Mylene Farmer <br /><br /><b>Q: What are you working on now?</b><br />A: I’m currently working on book 4 of the Invisible Library series. No rest for the wicked...<br />
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<br /><br /> Find out more about Genevieve Cogman:<br />
<a href="http://www.grcogman.com/" target="_blank">Author Website</a><br />
<a href="https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/119888.Genevieve_Cogman" target="_blank">Author on Goodreads</a><br />
<a href="https://sweeps.penguinrandomhouse.com/enter/the-invisible-library-sweepstakes" target="_blank">Enter The Invisible Library sweepstakes</a><br /><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Invisible-Library-Novel/dp/1101988649" target="_blank">The Invisible Library on Amazon</a><br />
The Masked City on Amazon<br /><a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/1101988665/" target="_blank">https://www.amazon.com/dp/1101988665/</a><br />Amy Neftzgerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07290229026909232592noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9088340476113994766.post-2395755650064971402016-07-11T05:00:00.000-07:002016-07-11T05:00:06.617-07:00Nashville's Hot Chicken FestivalEvery year on July 4th for the past 10 years Nashville has held a Hot Chicken Festival. Bill Purcell, Nashville’s mayor at the time, started the festival in 2007 in order to pay homage to one of his favorite local dishes. He created the event as a way to help market this unique food and to help establish Nashville as the place of origin.<br />
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For those of you outside of Music City, the legend of Nashville Hot Chicken started with Prince’s. The story begins with an unfaithful man and a woman’s quest for revenge when the cheating rascal returned. Instead of cooking his favorite fried chicken, she doused the bird in some very serious quantities of cayenne pepper and waited for the fireworks of her retribution to take hold. The problem was that Thornton Prince loved this new chicken recipe and after sharing it with a few friends he decided to open a restaurant. You can read a more detailed description about <a href="http://bittersoutherner.com/how-hot-chicken-really-happened/" target="_blank">the history of hot chicken here</a>. There's also a <a href="http://time.com/15504/how-hot-chicken-became-nashvilles-signature-dish/" target="_blank">Time article</a> on Nashville hot chicken as well as <a href="http://www.npr.org/sections/thesalt/2016/04/28/471436355/how-a-cheating-husband-gave-rise-to-nashvilles-hot-chicken-craze" target="_blank">a piece on the Nashville Public Radio's website</a>.<br />
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While Prince’s was the first hot chicken shack to appear, there are now hot chicken restaurants all over Nashville. The dish has grown in popularity since the inception of the hot chicken festival and even upscale restaurants now have hot chicken appetizers or dishes on the menu. I've even had hot chicken tacos (<a href="http://www.americanonashville.com/#!lunch/p9fxy" target="_blank">click this link and scroll down the menu</a>).<br />
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If you attend the Hot Chicken festival, be aware that the lines are often long, so it’s not as easy as one would think to sample all the different restaurants side-by-side (a dream of mine that has yet to become a reality). However, it’s not unusual for the lines inside the actual restaurants to be long, also. So don't let the wait dissuade you. It's worth it.<br />
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Advice for attending Nashville's Hot Chicken festival:<br />
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1. Take a cab, Lyft, or Uber. Traffic and parking are both congested near East Park during the festival.<br />
2. Bring at least some cash - not all vendors accept cards (note: if you visit Prince's actual restaurant, they don't accept cards there, either.)<br />
3. The weather and the chicken are both too hot for pets. Leave them at home in the AC with the TV tuned to their favorite station or send them to a spa.<br />
4. Hot chicken comes in various degrees of hotness, but one vendors "XX Hot" may be another vendor's "Medium." Assume that even medium will have some heat and that the most extreme level of heat is "native Thai" or beyond.<br />
5. Related to the above, I like to sample different levels of heat from the same vendor because the flavor of the chicken changes with the heat.<br />
6. Get a dipping sauce - it not only adds flavor, but it can assist in cooling your taste buds, if needed.<br />
7. There is no wrong way to eat hot chicken. You can alternate with bites of bread and pickle, you can make a sandwich, or you can just eat the chicken. Experiment and find what you like.<br />
8. Check out <a href="http://hot-chicken.com/festival/" target="_blank">the Hot Chicken Festival website </a>for more information.<br />
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Below are a few pictures of my pet gargoyle attending the festival. Yes,
he loves hot chicken, too. After all, he is "Nashville’s Finest Gargoyle"
- why wouldn’t he love Nashville’s finest food?<br />
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<br />Amy Neftzgerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07290229026909232592noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9088340476113994766.post-55674774544934356642016-05-23T03:38:00.001-07:002016-05-23T03:38:16.498-07:0015 Things Every Woman Should Know<br />
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I’m almost officially old. Almost, but not quite. I have a lot of youthful mischief, so people are often surprised when they learn my actual age. They can tell I’m not the 21 years that I claim to be, but they’re often cautious about guessing the true number out of fear of being impolite.<br />
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While I might not always act my age (whatever that may be), I have learned a few things over the years. Creating your path takes a lifetime and the work to do so is what shapes a person, but the more we learn early in life, the better off we’ll be. This is true for everyone, but it's particularly important to women because we face certain challenges and social expectations to which men aren't subjected. That said, here's my advice for the next generation of women:<br />
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1. You will face double standards because of your gender, and these may not be blatantly obvious. Know that these exist, but don't ever let them hold you back.<br />
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2. No one will look out for you better than you can. This includes lawyers, doctors, husbands, wives, and other professionals - so make sure that you fully understand all advice that you're being given and never delegate your decisions to someone else because of their expertise or position of authority. Those individuals may be knowledgeable within their fields, but they don't know you. You'll make better life choices if you participate in those decisions actively.<br />
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3. If you see a man treating someone badly because he thinks that person deserves it, that means that there are circumstances under which he will treat you the same way. Just because he approves of you at the moment doesn't mean that things won't change. If you're in any type of relationship with someone like this, it's only a matter of time. There are women who are like this also, so learn to set boundaries. Then stick with them to protect yourself.<br />
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4. No one knows what you’re capable of doing or becoming. Not even you. Figuring out who you are is a lifelong journey. There’s trial and error involved. Mistakes are not only good, they’re important because without them you’ll never know what roads not to take in the future.<br />
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5. When you do make mistakes (because you will), it's not the end of the world. No one does the right thing in every situation because there will be times when you only have part of the information and you'll think that you're doing the right thing. It could be days or years later when you finally get all the facts. You can always pick yourself up and start moving forward again, even if it's at a slower pace. The important thing is to keep moving.<br />
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6. Expanding on the point above: never hide from your mistakes. They're written in stone and can't be erased, but that doesn't mean that you can't reshape the stone to work those blemishes into something better. If you hurt anyone you should do your best to resolve the situation, no matter how much time has passed. If you can't find the person, look for someone else to help so that your mistake makes life better for someone else because of what you've learned. Own your mistakes, and also own the corrections. It's part of being true to who you are.<br />
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7. Your value is not determined by the person you’re with at the moment. Not your boyfriend or husband. Not your father or family. Not your friends. Your value is in being you, so as soon as you rely on any of these other things to feel your worth, you're actually devaluing yourself.<br />
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8. The people around you can color your thoughts, so surround yourself with the colors that are best for you. These are not necessarily the colors that make you more comfortable - they’re the ones that make you grow. Thoughts, opinions, attitudes and lifestyles are all colors that paint the picture of your life. Allow room for people who are different from you and your life will be filled with beautiful things. <br />
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9. You don’t have to be thin or fat. You just have to be you. Thin and fat are relative. So get over these definitions, especially since they vary by culture and time periods. You will never be beautiful if you let the prevailing cultural definitions of beauty define you.<br />
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10. Don’t worry about what others think about you. When we’re younger we spend way too much time worrying about how others will perceive us. A sign of maturity is understanding that other people’s opinions of you are based more on themselves than on you.<br />
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11. Change yourself for the right reasons, and never compromise for the wrong ones. If someone wants to be with you to change you, then you probably don’t want to be with that person.<br />
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12. Your career is over when you want it to be over. You’ll have setbacks. People will lie about you to advance themselves (more times than you’ll ever be aware). These situations aren’t fair, but they’re also not the end. No matter how bad things look at any time, it’s only the end when you want it to be.<br />
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13. There will be times when you're discriminated against for being a woman. You might not be aware of all of them, but it will happen (and probably already has). Try not to be angry or bitter, even though it may be difficult. Bitterness never advanced any cause, it only sets things back. Look for ways to deal with these situations as constructively as possible, and also remember those times when you see discrimination in any form. If you see someone being discriminated against for any reason (regardless of gender) and you're in a position to do something, don't be idle. Do something. Sometimes all it takes is for one person to speak up to make a difference, and that voice usually has to come from someone other than the person being discriminated against.<br />
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14. Kindness is free but one of the most valuable resources on earth. You have no idea what anyone else is going through and taking a moment to hold a door for a mother struggling with a stroller or being patient when getting bad service in a restaurant can make a huge difference to another person. Try to be kind as much as possible, and (as the Dali Llama says) it is always possible.<br />
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15. Moving forward is not always moving up. You can benefit a lot from those times when life appears to go backwards because you didn’t move in the direction that appeared the most advantageous. Maybe you didn’t get the promotion, but that larger salary may have come with a large price tag on other areas of your life. In addition, lateral (or slightly downward) career moves can build different skills that can help you later in life.<br />
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This is a long list, and I could make it even longer - but I think I've made my point. The bottom line: never delegate your happiness or success to anyone else. If you do, you'll never have either of those things.<br />
<br />Amy Neftzgerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07290229026909232592noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9088340476113994766.post-10898138413251190022016-05-04T03:56:00.001-07:002016-05-04T03:56:55.155-07:00Miles Ahead: A Movie Review<br />
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This past weekend I went to go see the new movie about Miles Davis starring Don Cheadle. The movie, called Miles Ahead, utilizes creative license and mixes fact with fiction in order to get at the truth a little more clearly than facts alone.<br /><br />It may sound absurd to those who segregate information into discrete categories such as fact and fiction or truth and lies, but people are far more complex than most binary categories can yield. One of the advantages of this movie is that it drives this point. It addresses the complexity of Miles as an aging creative force in a world that sees art as a revenue source. It also explores the precarious dependency between artist and those who monetize art.<br /><br />Miles was a master of improvisation, and given the way he interpreted music I think he would enjoy this interpretation of his life. After all, if we only look at something from beginning to end, we miss some of the larger themes that get buried in the day to day events. This movie realigns time and abruptly jumps from one time period to another in a series of cycles. The technique reveals the leitmotifs within the life of Miles Davis.<br /><br />Don’t see this movie if you’re looking for a biography of Miles Davis. While some events in the movie are accurate, this is not a historical retelling of his life.<br /><br />Go see the movie if you’re interested in an interpretation of the essence of Miles. One of the reasons I suspect that Miles would prefer this movie to a factual chronological biography is because, like his music, it tells us more about Miles than the events in his life could.<br />
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<br />Amy Neftzgerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07290229026909232592noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9088340476113994766.post-6087365124435870072016-04-19T05:30:00.000-07:002016-04-19T05:30:00.154-07:00My 5 Darkest Parenting Secrets<br />
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My kids are nearly grown now (crossing fingers here). But I have to confess that there were times when I took an unconventional approach to raising them. Let's face it: parenting is more or less a survival game, and if you let the kids win you're doomed. I admit that I made it through by using some unconventional tactics in my strategy, but I'm willing to share my dark secrets in the hope that these will bring other parents through this journey (mostly) unscathed.<br />
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<b>Dark Secret #1: </b><br />
<b>The Broccoli Emporium isn’t actually my favorite restaurant because it isn’t a real place at all. </b><br />Whenever we were on road trips I told my kids The Broccoli Emporium was my favorite restaurant and we would stop there for our next meal if they didn’t behave in the car.<br />“Is everything made out of broccoli there?”<br />“Yes. Even the milkshakes.”<br />Worked like a charm. No regrets on that one.<br />
Note: this technique works best on small children before they can actually read billboards.<br /><br /><b>Dark Secret #2:</b><br />
<b>When she was about three my daughter loved watching the child catcher scene from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, so I let her. </b><br />Apparently she thought the rest of the movie was boring, so I played that scene over and over for her while she snacked on goldfish. If a kid finds terror entertaining, I don't feel that we, as parents, should restrict them and deny them what they crave. After all, an electronic babysitter is only as good as the content. BTW - Now she’s in college and enjoys reading HP Lovecraft, so I obviously did something right.<br /><br /><b>Dark Secret #3: More than once I’ve thought about texting one of my kids and saying, “Please don’t come home until I figure out how to dispose of your body.”</b><br />They were teenagers. Need I say more?<br />
The point is I never sent those texts. At least not on purpose, anyway.<br />
But even if I sent them, the kids learned that everyone has limits, even "sweet mommy."<br /><br /><b>Dark Secret #4: I let my children watch all kinds of TV shows and movies that more conservative parents frowned upon.</b><br />I made it a rule that my kids could watch anything as long as I watched it with them, and I did. I asked just enough dumb questions to keep them from renting anything they didn’t want to have to explain to me. There's nothing like pure embarrassment for behavior modification.<br />
Of course, I wouldn't do that now because they learned from the best and I'm sure they'd put in a movie that made me very uncomfortable and enjoy asking me questions about it.<br />
Free parenting tip: stop while you're ahead and learn to anticipate potential revenge situations.<br /><br /><b>Dark Secret #5: The Internet in my house magically stopped working whenever anyone had a big test the next day.</b><br />Actually, that wasn’t me. Comcast is simply unreliable. My Internet stopped working all the time for no reason, but I like to think that subscribing to Comcast was part of my nefarious plan to keep the kids focused on their schoolwork. <br />
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Let's face it, we're all going to be scarred by our parenting experiences, but at least my children's therapists won't be bored during those decades of counseling ahead.<br /><br />
<br />Amy Neftzgerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07290229026909232592noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9088340476113994766.post-79155700516565799552016-03-24T05:08:00.001-07:002016-03-24T15:49:11.216-07:0014 Crazy Church Posts In Preparation For Easter<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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With Easter rapidly approaching, some of us may be planning to attend church for the first time in quite a while. Occasionally while visiting churches I like to pretend that I'm a visitor from another planet and just learning about the culture and customs of church. Here are a few of my posts on social media from these occasions. Important notes for reference: Mr Amy is the Music Director for all of these services, we live in Nashville where every church service is a major production, and I do play the drums.<br />
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Enjoy.<br />
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You know what the best thing about church is? They serve wine at 8:00 in the morning and no one thinks it's weird.<br />
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This morning's episode of Church Service is subtitled "The Wrath of Mom", where the character of Mom forces the children who were not ready on time to drink the substandard church coffee instead of stopping at Starbucks on the way there. Mom's cruelty knows no bounds!!!<br />
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In this morning's production of Church Service all parts had been previously cast, so I created the role of "Assistant Sound Engineer" because there are too many buttons on that board for one pair of hands. Plus I really want to mess with the sound levels while people are talking.<br />
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As "Assistant Sound Engineer" I have the power to mute anyone who says something I don't like. Carry on, Preacher. Carry on.<br />
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This morning in Church Service I've decided to enhance the pastor's reading by replacing the scripture verses with selections from Kerouac.<br />
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Good news! I've found some interpretive dancers to join in today's special beatnik production of Church Service. Won't the pastor be surprised when they rush the stage during the 3rd act!<br />
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The woman sitting next to me mumbled incessantly throughout the Church Service production, and I found it very distracting and disrespectful while I was typing all my text messages.<br />
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In order to make today's production of Church Service more interesting, I've decided that I will only speak using lyrics from songs by The Who.<br />
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Pastor: How are you doing today?<br />
Amy: No one knows what it's like to be the bad man ... to be the sad man.<br />
Pastor: Are you okay? Did you have trouble sleeping or something?<br />
Amy: My dreams... They aren't as empty as my conscience seems to be.<br />
Pastor: Let me go find your husband for you.<br />
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I love going to church because I always learn something. Today I learned that you're not supposed to use the leftover communion bread to make a sandwich and that "the alter is not a kitchen table."<br />
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In this morning's production of "Church Service" I've been assigned to the role of "Congregation Member." I have no solos. As a protest, I've painted my eyelids in the shade of "Yellow Scream." I'm planning to blink at the director so he can see my eyes screaming at him.<br />
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Good news! I downloaded a cowbell app for my phone and grabbed a wireless mic. Now I can add cowbell to all the songs from anywhere in the sanctuary!!!<br />
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In this morning's production of "Church Service" I'm playing the role of Slideshow Bob. This means that I push the button to change slides on the big screen. I'm thinking about editing the slides to make the service more entertaining.<br />
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So... "Running With the Devil" was not the best choice of music for exiting the church service, but I was only trying to get the crowd pumped.<br />
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Happy Easter, everyone! Amy Neftzgerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07290229026909232592noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9088340476113994766.post-9155643907502757432016-03-15T06:00:00.000-07:002016-03-15T06:00:01.235-07:00My 15 Best Books of 2015For those looking for something new to read or who want to discover something new, I’ve compiled this list of my top-rated books from 2015. Most of these were released in 2015, but several are older books that finally got off my TBR list. There were a lot of good books released or read in 2015, but these are my picks (in the order that I read them).<br />
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Title: Circling the Sun <br />
Author: Paula McLain<br />
Genre: Historical Fiction<br />
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Brilliant writing and great storytelling have come together to produce a very rich historical fiction novel. Beryl Markham is a strong female character during a time when being a strong woman could get you killed for asserting yourself or for attempting to maintain an identity apart from being property.<br />
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Title: This is the Story of a Happy Marriage<br />
Author:Ann Patchett<br />
Genre: Nonfiction<br />
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If you want an example of how to write great nonfiction this is the book to read. This is a collection of essays Overall, this is a great read should certainly be on the TBR list of anyone who wants a career as a writer. <br />
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Title: Get in Trouble <br />
Author: Kelly Link<br />
Genre: Fiction (experimental)<br />
A wonderful collection of short stories that transcend traditional genres. The writing is experimental and yet accessible. Some of the characters are bizarre, yet still relate-able (not a real word, but now that I've spoken it into existence it will hopefully show up in the dictionary soon). If you like unusual and innovative writing this book is for you. <br />
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Title: Shadow Scale (Seraphina #2)<br />
Author:Rachel Hartman<br />
Genre: YA Fantasy<br />
This may be one of the best books I've read in the past year. It's about a girl on a diplomatic mission to bring the half-dragons together, but she's also struggling to come into her own as the world appears to be falling apart. Cleverly and imaginatively written with strong female characters on the sides of both good and evil, this book kept me reading and turning pages.<br />
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An exciting read with interesting (as well as likable) characters and a strong, well-developed plot. Highly recommended for individuals who enjoy fantasy books. <br />
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Title: The Cloister Walk<br />
Author:Kathleen Norris<br />
Genre: Nonfiction<br />
This is a book that I thought I could read straight though and move on to the next novel on my TBR list, but it wasn't that simple. Norris has the poet's eye for insight and the material written here includes some beautifully written prose with keen observations on life and humanity.<br />
If you're a fan of authors such as Thomas Merton I recommend giving this book a slow and thoughtful read. <br />
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Title: Thirteen Ways of Looking<br />
Author:Colum McCann<br />
Genre: Fiction<br />
This was one of the most well-written books I've read this past year. It consists of a novella and several short stories: each one unique and addressing a different topic. My favorite is the first (and longest) about an elderly widower that chronicles his last days on earth. The stories in this volume are beautifully constructed and the prose is outstanding.<br />
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Title: Accidental Saints: Finding God in All the Wrong People <br />
Author:Nadia Bolz-Weber<br />
Genre: Nonfiction<br />
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Nadia Boltz-Weber's writing is raw and honest. She asks a lot of questions, and sometimes those questions don't have answers. There's no formula on how to live a perfect life or list of rules to follow in order to gain sainthood in this book. However, what the author does show us how to do is recognize the beauty in other people, even when it takes unconventional forms. I got to interview the author about this book (Englewood Review of Books, print edition).<br />
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Title: We Never Asked for Wings<br />
Author: Vanessa Diffenbaugh<br />
Genre: Fiction<br />
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Diffenbaugh writes about individuals on the edge of society and makes them accessible to the mainstream. It's difficult not to become engaged with the characters the way that she writes them. Even when they make bad decisions, instead of judging these characters I felt myself cringing while filling with empathy for the heartaches that resulted. Well constructed and emotionally rich. If you loved The Language of Flowers you should definitely read this one. Be prepared for another bumpy ride that you will be glad you took.<br />
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Title: Walking on Water: Reflections on Faith and Art <br />
Author: Madeline L’Engle<br />
Genre: Nonfiction<br />
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This book is one of the best I've read for artists who also happen to have a strong religious faith. L'Engle approaches creativity as a natural response to being created in the image of The Creator. In fact, she explains that most children start out creative, but wander (or are trained) away from these activities. What I respected most was her assertion that art designed to evangelize tends to be come across as forced, and is often lower quality because of this.<br />
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Title: The God of Small Things<br />
Author: <span class="a-size-medium">Arundhati Roy</span><br />
Genre: Fiction<br />
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The book is set in India and follows the lives of twins (a boy and a girl) through the early events that shaped them. It's a tale of childhood, innocence lost, and forbidden love The prose is sometimes filled with passages that convey both the bitterness and romance of childhood. Be forewarned: there is no shortage of loss in this book (it's a tragedy), but the writing is poetic.<br />
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Title: The Girl Who Could Not Dream<br />
Author:Sarah Beth Durst<br />
Genre: Children’s Fiction<br />
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A highly imaginative look at dreams, the importance of childhood friends, and learning to deal with fear. Although Sophie in unable to dream on her own, when she ingests the dreams of others the things in the dream become real. This is a great way to explore the line between reality and dreams and the importance of each. Durst write some great characters, including a lovable monster, a vain Unicorn/ Pegasus, and a sinister villain called "Mr. Nightmare." The story moves at a good pace and takes the reader on a few unexpected twists and turns.<br />
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Title: Nonsense: The Power of Not Knowing <br />
Author:Jamie Holmes<br />
Genre: Nonfiction<br />
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This book brings together several different cognitive theories to help understand how different individuals deal with ambiguous information. While some individuals have a high need for context, others are more comfortable when new information doesn't neatly fit into their current understanding of the world. This is a great book for learning how to understand different points of view and how some individuals choose to interpret events differently from others.<br />
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Title: Little Man, What Now?<br />
Author:Hans Fallada<br />
Genre: Fiction<br />
An interesting read that gives insight into what it was like to be a white collar worker in Berlin just prior to WWII. This is a fictional account of two newlyweds, but it should be noted that the author did extensive research on the subject and managed to portray an accurate picture of the struggles at the time. What makes the book so engaging is the humorous aspect that pervades the story - some critics have compared the main character to Charlie Chaplin's Little Tramp. A series of unfortunate events are consistently cushioned by the humor in the characters and plot line.<br />
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Title: Seeker<br />
Author: <span class="a-size-medium">Arwen Elys Dayton</span><br />
Genre: Children’s Fiction<br />
The best way to describe this book is as a modern tale of knighthood, with the added twist of vying for power and position. Seekers are a special group of individuals who are supposed to work for the good of humanity, but Quin quickly learns that not all the protectors of the truth are actually protecting it and some are out for personal gain. <br />
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Title: My Name Is Lucy Barton<br />
Author: <span class="a-size-medium">Elizabeth Strout</span><br />
Genre: Fiction<br />
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The story centers on a woman who is hospitalized for an illness, which is the point in time from which she begins to make sense of all the imperfect forms of love she's experienced in her life. Central to this insight is her relationship with her mother who comes to stay with her during those few days when the doctor is trying to figure out the cause of the illness. The writing is solid and the book does a great job of exploring the basic need for love, even in it's most broken forms.<br />
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If you see something that interests you, check out a few other reviews on Amazon or Goodreads to get a slightly different perspective and see if one of these could be the treasure from 2015 that you missed. Please don’t forget to come back and leave me a comment on how you liked the book!<br />Amy Neftzgerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07290229026909232592noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9088340476113994766.post-36994447753089490142016-02-23T06:46:00.000-08:002016-02-23T06:46:32.892-08:005 Reasons Why Trump Will Never Make America Great<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Many individuals have embraced Trump as an outsider who has the potential to save the American political system from itself. I view him as just another symptom of a broken system. There are numerous reasons why I don’t think he can “make America great again.” Here are five of them.<br />
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1. Lack of tact and diplomacy<br />
There are a number of skills that I think are essential for The President of the United States, and two of these near the top of the list are diplomacy and tact. We don’t need to get into wars or have trade talks stalled because our leader said whatever he felt like saying or felt that another world leader was beneath him. <br />
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2. Arrogance<br />
The best politicians understand that they’re public servants, and the most effective leaders don’t put themselves first. Trump’s tendency toward arrogance is on the opposite end of the spectrum. Of all the things we’ve seen from Trump, acting out of service for the common good is not one of them.<br />
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3. He doesn’t represent what’s best about America<br />
The President of the United States needs to represent the interests and the people of the country as a whole. Donald Trump has already made glib statements about different segments of the American population that indicate he feels some people are more equal than others. Differential treatment of people based on race or ethnicity is not something to be proud of, and it’s something that America has been working to eliminate.<br />
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4. He’s part of the problem<br />
Most of what isn’t working in politics is the result of special interest groups putting their needs above society as a whole. Trump is just another variation on this theme: his special interests are the business sector and his ego. <br />
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5. Only the American people can make America great<br />
We need to stop electing our officials based on what benefits us personally or financially at the expense of others, and start behaving as if all individuals really are created equal and that every living person has value. </blockquote>
I'm done talking about politics for now. If you want to read more on the subject, I highly recommend <a href="https://www.washingtonpost.com/posteverything/wp/2015/09/02/kareem-abdul-jabbar-this-is-the-difference-between-donald-trump-and-bernie-sanders/" target="_blank">this well-written piece by Kareem Abdul Jabbar in The Washington Post.</a> Amy Neftzgerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07290229026909232592noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9088340476113994766.post-41521448398938284002016-02-03T06:30:00.000-08:002016-02-03T06:30:11.656-08:00Why I'm Not Voting For TrumpI don’t usually voice political opinions for two reasons:<br /><br />1. As a writer, I know that there are always at least three sides to every story and there are as many interpretations of current events as there are people. Most of us tend to vote for the individual we think will make life better for us personally. And since I’m not you, I have no idea how to tell you to vote.<br />2. I don’t believe either political party has the answer - they only have alliances (often of the corporate and unsavory kind).<br /><br />However, today I’m going to break my rule of avoiding politics, and while I won’t say who I’ll be voting for I’ll explain why I don’t think that Donald Trump is the answer to what’s ailing America right now.<br /><br />My first reason:<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<b>The idea that someone who’s successfully run a business can fix the problems we’re having with government is a fallacy.</b></blockquote>
I’m not sure where this idea originated, and I’ve heard it for years. There seems to be a prevalent idea that someone who’s been successful in business must also have the best sort of expertise to run the government effectively. This logic is not new, but I don’t know if anyone has ever taken a look at the underlying assumptions. I'll address three of these underlying assumptions in this post, but there are more.<br /><br /><i>1. Success is a stable track record that will generalize into a new field</i><br />People who are successful in business aren’t always successful. In fact, most of these individuals have also failed a number of times. The smart ones protect themselves so that when the business goes under they don’t go personally bankrupt - which is what Trump has managed to do each time one of his enterprises collapsed. Governments, however, don’t have the same sort of luxury, unless the officials take risks and the taxpayers foot the bill when those risks don’t pay off (sort of like Congress has been doing for years …).<br /><br /><i>2. Government is just another form of a business</i><br />While some of the components are similar, business and government have different goals. The purpose of a business is to make money. The purpose of government, on the other hand, is embedded within the name: it’s to govern. There are no investors to repay or stock prices to maintain. Ideally, citizens should be taxed only enough to run the necessary programs and services and ensure that those programs continue.<br /><br /><i>3. A CEO knows how to get things done in any situation</i><br />Because these two institutions have different goals, the rules made within businesses are very different from laws made by governments. In a business all employees are not considered equal, and your value is determined by how much the organization stands to gain financially from your job performance. In other words, equality is not guaranteed in a business setting.<br />I don’t want to spend an inordinate amount of time on this point, but a government is not simply another form of business: it’s public service and in a democracy it’s built on the concept of being “by the people, for the people.” It’s not a profit center.<br />
<br />Enough seriousness for one day.<br />
I’ll leave you with something to make you laugh:<br />
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<br />Amy Neftzgerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07290229026909232592noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9088340476113994766.post-34776021147795607912015-12-15T09:27:00.000-08:002015-12-15T09:32:17.938-08:0020 Quotes About WritingI collect quotes. I have notebooks filled with them. So I dug through the secret place in my sock drawer where I keep all these quote-filled notebooks and dug up a list of 20 about writing and ficiton. Here they are.<br />
<br />
<blockquote>
“Write the kind of story you would like to read. People will give you all sorts of advice about writing, but if you are not writing something you like, no one else will like it either.”<br />
~ Meg Cabot<br />
<br />
The reason that fiction is more interesting than any other form of literature, to those who really like to study people, is that in fiction the author can really tell the truth without humiliating himself.”<br />
~ Eleanor Roosevelt<br />
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“You can't wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club.”<br />
~ Jack London<br />
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“I would advise anyone who aspires to a writing career that before developing his talent he would be wise to develop a thick hide.”<br />
~ Harper Lee<br />
<br />
“And by the way, everything in life is writable about if you have the outgoing guts to do it, and the imagination to improvise. The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt.”<br />
~ Sylvia Plath<br />
<br />
“The greatest part of a writer’s time is spent in reading, in order to write; a man will turn over half a library to make one book.”<br />
~ Samuel Johnson<br />
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“Write while the heat is in you. … The writer who postpones the recording of his thoughts uses an iron which has cooled to burn a hole with.”<br />
~ Henry David Thoreau<br />
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“No tears in the writer, no tears in the reader. No surprise in the writer, no surprise in the reader.”<br />
~ Robert Frost<br />
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“Keep a small can of WD-40 on your desk~away from any open flames~to remind yourself that if you don’t write daily, you will get rusty.”<br />
~George Singleton<br />
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“Those who find ugly meanings in beautiful things are corrupt without being charming. This is a fault. Those who find beautiful meanings in beautiful things are the cultivated. For these there is hope. They are the elect to whom beautiful things mean only Beauty. There is no such thing as a moral or an immoral book. Books are well written, or badly written. That is all.”<br />
~ Oscar Wilde<br />
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“Cheat your landlord if you can and must, but do not try to shortchange the Muse. It cannot be done. You can’t fake quality any more than you can fake a good meal.”<br />
~ William S. Burroughs<br />
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“You must stay drunk on writing so reality cannot destroy you.”<br />
~ Ray Bradbury<br />
<br />
“You should write because you love the shape of stories and sentences and the creation of different words on a page. Writing comes from reading, and reading is the finest teacher of how to write.”<br />
~ Annie Proulx<br />
<br />
“Writing is like sex. First you do it for love, then you do it for your friends, and then you do it for money.”<br />
~ Virginia Woolf<br />
<br />
“We have to continually be jumping off cliffs and developing our wings on the way down.”<br />
~ Kurt Vonnegut<br />
<br />
“Start writing, no matter what. The water does not flow until the faucet is turned on.”<br />
~ Louis L’Amour<br />
<br />
“I write to give myself strength. I write to be the characters that I am not. I write to explore all the things I'm afraid of. ”<br />
~ Joss Whedon<br />
<br />
“We are all apprentices in a craft where no one ever becomes a master.”<br />
~Ernest Hemingway<br />
<br />
“If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn't brood. I'd type a little faster.”<br />
~ Isaac Asimov<br />
<br />
“That's what fiction is for. It's for getting at the truth when the truth isn't sufficient for the truth.”<br />
~ Tim O’Brien</blockquote>
<br />Amy Neftzgerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07290229026909232592noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9088340476113994766.post-57800928304651413672015-11-12T04:55:00.000-08:002015-11-12T04:55:47.895-08:00The Value Of LifeLet’s assume that you’re in perfect health (no physical imitations, no terminal illnesses, and have the prospect of living another very full 50 years. If someone offered to pay you for those 50 years, would you take the money?<br />
<br />
It sounds crazy, and yet many of us are doing this without the knowledge that we’re doing it. Pause for a moment and think about how you make decisions. What criteria do you use?<br />
<br />
More of us have shifted to an economic evaluation of most things. We decide how much something is worth based on the monetary consequences. For example, many of us decide which job to take based on the salary or $ per hour we’ll be paid. Some of us even choose careers based on how much money we can earn in a given field. We may even decide how to use our free time based on financial ROI (where to volunteer, what social activities to engage in, etc).<br />
<br />
The fact is that most of us make life decisions based on how the outcome will benefit us economically. Yes, it may be a valid criteria for making a decision but it’s not the only one and certainly not the most important one. But what else is there?<br />
<br />
Money is easy to quantify, but that doesn’t make it more valuable. For example, what’s the cost of a sunrise? Seeing your child smile for the first time? The sound of a loved one’s laughter? The peace you get from knowing you did the right thing? Learning you’re stronger than you thought you were? Cuddling up with a pet? Experiencing a work of art? The thrill of accomplishment? There's a lot of value in building relationships, developing character, finding understanding, and connecting with the world around us (just to name a few things). These things are more difficult to quantify, but that doesn't make them less important.<br />
<br />
Life is too valuable to be quantified with money. Your legacy is not how much you were worth financially in this life, but what you did with your friends and relationships, your time, and yourself.<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
“Those who know the exact price of things, as Judas did, often don’t know the true cost or value of anything.” ~ Kathleen Norris</blockquote>
<br />Amy Neftzgerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07290229026909232592noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9088340476113994766.post-76412010435658131522015-10-22T04:54:00.002-07:002015-10-22T04:54:32.862-07:00A Girl And Her Gargoyle In SeattleI've been a little busy in the past few months, so I haven't been posting on my blog as often. Mostly my time has been spent writing for other publications and working on my books, but I also recently took a trip to Seattle with my favorite gargoyle. Here are some of our highlights:<br />
<br />
The Underground tour.<br />
If you're not claustrophobic and can stay on your feet for about 90 minutes, this is a fun way to learn about Seattle's history and hear a few stories. The tour goes through some underground spaces to where the sidewalks were located before the great fire that burned the city down. He's a picture of Newton in the underground at the end of the tour:<br />
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The Chihuly Garden and Museum is not to be missed. The sculptures are incredible and walking through the garden is like being in wonderland. This was one of my favorite things in Seattle. Note: Gargoyles get in free.<br />
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Jimi Hendrix's grave is nearby, so Newton and I stopped there to pay our respects:<br />
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The wall of gum (near Pike Place) is one of those strange oddities that make you both want to look and also look away at the same time. Gross, but fascinating. Check out all the colors:<br />
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And let's not forget a Seattle classic: The Space Needle.<br />
Newton may be the first gargoyle to visit it in person!<br />
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Newton refers to the Space Needle as a "Top Perch" and gives it 2 talons up!<br />
<br />Amy Neftzgerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07290229026909232592noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9088340476113994766.post-7851785442683317312015-10-15T07:11:00.000-07:002015-10-15T07:11:00.540-07:00Tips of Writing a Good Fantasy StoryIn order for a fantasy world to be believable and accepted by the audience, there are a few things an author should keep in mind when writing in this genre. I’ve compiled these into two short lists of what to do (DO) and what not to do (DON’T).<br /><br /><br />DO<br />Use the characters to move the story forward. You can add situations that force them to grow or change or show their true colors, but don’t rely on things outside of the story to move it forward. Situations are generally boring to readers - but how someone reacts in a situation is infinitely more interesting.<br /><br />Put characters in situations that challenge them. I paired Kelsey with Silence in the Orphanage of Miracles because she lacked patience. Putting her with a mute also helped her to learn more about herself as she watched him interact successfully with others.<br /><br />Look to everyday life to inspire you and then imagine the same situations and experiences in another world. You may be writing in a fantasy world, but there are elements of the human experience that don’t change - such as the concepts of love, friendship, family, revenge, and war. These elements that are common to our world connect the reader to your story.<br /><br /><br />DONT:<br />Make characters say or do anything that goes against who they are. Your characters have identities of their own outside of you. You can control them no more than you can control your own children. Sure, you can provide them guidance and put them in situations that bring out the good or bad in them, but you can not suddenly make a coward have confidence or turn a basically good person evil without a strong motivation to do so (and that motivation needs to be built carefully).<br /><br />Don’t rely on magic to move the story forward. The story should still be character driven, because this is how your audience connects to your world. See point number 3 above under “DO” for more information.<br /><br />Don’t make objects or animals talk just for fun. If you anthropomorphize something, it needs a reason and should be part of the overall story plot and structure. Objects generally serve a purpose and animals have specific characteristics that should be included in the story line. For example, I made death a fox in my books because death is cunning and often sneaks up on people. A fox also shares those qualities.<br /><br />These aren’t hard and fast rules, and no one likes to break rules more than I do. So feel free to break them, but to do so successfully you’ll need to always keep the reader in mind. The reader is, after all, your primary reason for publishing. So make sure that elements of the story don’t cause them to suddenly ask, “Where did that come from?” Our job as writers is to guide the reader safely through our realms without questioning whether or not it could actually exist. We help them to believe in it.<br /><br />Amy Neftzgerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07290229026909232592noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9088340476113994766.post-44059840963356843122015-08-12T07:25:00.001-07:002015-08-12T07:25:11.320-07:00Sonic Highways: A Lesson in Story Telling<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Thanks to a friend, I’ve been watching a set of DVDs which chronicle the Foo Fighters latest recording, a concept album called Sonic Highways. Whether or not you’re a music fan, the way the album and DVD are put together is an outstanding example of story telling.<br /><br />In the DVDs, each episode shows the band arriving in a city, learning about the musical influences, and then recording a song that exudes the flavor of that space. Each piece usually incorporates a local guest recording artists (such as Joe Walsh in California).<br /><br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<i>Great music. But how is this related to literature or writing?</i></blockquote>
<br />There’s a lot we, as writers, can learn from the way Dave Grohl creates his art. First of all, the whole concept of the project stresses the importance of setting. There are things that characters will often do in one location but not in others. As a writer, your story is always a mixture of the people involved and the place they’re in, and what took place in the past in order to create the current environment. A story’s setting isn’t just a location: it’s a place in time that’s the culmination of all that’s come before in that space.<br /><br />The setting in which you place a story influences actions and sets mood. It’s the same in music as it is in literature as it is in life. What Dave Grohl is tapping into is the subtle differences in culture between cities on the same continent. He's also showing the impact of time on these things. Cities have personalities and atmospheres that have evolved in a particular manner.<br />
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Think about the setting in your writing almost as if it’s another character, because it’s just as important to moving the plot along. If you watch these DVDs, notice how different cities produce different musical sounds because of the unique mixture of people who live there or the kinds of struggles and achievements that took place in those locations. These nuances provide the rich texture and context for a story, and these are the kinds of details that bring a story to life.<br /><br />The tag line on the DVD set is “Every city has a sound. Every sound has a story” and these DVDs tell those stories well. Highly recommended viewing.<br />Amy Neftzgerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07290229026909232592noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9088340476113994766.post-69362212137078842962015-07-20T07:29:00.003-07:002015-07-20T07:29:25.703-07:00How to Kick Monday in The ButtI’ve been a little busy these past few months. Mostly I’ve been writing books, but I’ve also been reading a lot and doing some research. With so little extra time on my hands, I lost patience with Monday for being difficult. We all know that Monday is the day when Evil peaks (more heart attacks occur on Mondays, more deaths happen on that day of the week, and bad news usually arrives in Monday mail like it’s been stalking us all weekend waiting for the perfect moment to spring upon us).<br /><br />I’ve been too busy and don’t have time for Monday’s nonsense. While I like to think that kicking Monday in the butt is a super power, it’s really something that anyone can do with the right training and equipment. So here’s my secret formula.<br /><br />
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1. Wear sensible heals: the pointy kind. Unless, of course, you want Monday to be able to get up easily after you strike the first blow. Plus you’ll look awesome, and when you’re wearing a great pair of shoes you will feel better about yourself and have more energy. This includes men - remember that great shoes can take you farther than you can imagine.<br /><br />2. Stay away from jerks. I know that on Mondays jerks are like zombies at a brain buffet, but people who like to make other people miserable will waste your time, and you don’t have time to be miserable - so avoid the source of misery. You’ll get more done.<br /><br />3. Get up early before Monday knows that you’re awake. You see, Monday expects you to hit the snooze several times, so you can take it by surprise.<br /><br />4. Eat something with rainbow sprinkles on it. I often tell people that sprinkles are little happy pills, and these can boost your mood no matter how bad things seem at the moment. It’s not easy to be depressed when you’re eating something so colorful.</blockquote>
<br />Finally, at the end of the day remember that Margarita and Monday both start with M for a reason. Celebrate your victory.<br />Amy Neftzgerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07290229026909232592noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9088340476113994766.post-17986282754788598312015-03-31T06:22:00.000-07:002015-03-31T06:22:17.469-07:00How To Write a Book in 3 Easy StepsI get asked a lot of questions about writing. One of the most common inquiries is from people who want to write a book but don't know how to do it. So I've come up with 3 easy steps for guidance.<br />
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1. Get a typewriter or computer with a word processor.<br />2. Vomit words onto a page.<br />3. Arrange the words so that they look appetizing.</blockquote>
Repeat steps 1 through 3 as needed until you have a novel length manuscript. <br /><br />
See how easy this is? Some people choose to ignore the third step, but I find this part to be the most critical. Good luck!Amy Neftzgerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07290229026909232592noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9088340476113994766.post-14761057080348873642015-03-26T05:23:00.000-07:002015-03-26T05:23:06.824-07:00How To Be Awesome<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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It's easier than you think. Here's how to do it:<br />
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1. Go to bed early. It’s important to get plenty of rest so that your mind is alert.<br />2. Wake up early. The longer you sleep in, the less awesome there will be for you because everyone else will have gotten it first.<br />3. Drink a strong cup of coffee. It takes energy to be awesome and coffee is fuel for awesomeness.<br />4. Eat a light but nourishing breakfast. Again, you need fuel, but heavy meals will weigh you down and keep you from reaching the height of awesomeness.<br />5. Take a dog for a long walk before doing anything else. A public location with plenty of things to smell is ideal, such as a park or an area where people and/ or animals have been recently.<br />6. Feed the dog.<br />7. You are now awesome and ready to start your day.</blockquote>
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<b>How to I know that this works?</b><br />
Because I’ve been doing this routine for years and every day when I get home from walking my dog and feed her she looks at me and says, “You’re awesome!”<br />
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<br />Amy Neftzgerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07290229026909232592noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9088340476113994766.post-19699214060104265382015-03-12T05:35:00.000-07:002015-03-12T05:35:33.029-07:00How To Catch A PrinceI saw a book called “How To Catch A Prince.” To be fair, I haven’t read the book. But how hard could it be? Literature is full of stories about princes, and classic fairy tales have spoken on the subject for years. So I’ve culled together a little advice from these sources. Here are the top ten ways to catch a Prince, according to my reserach.<br /><br />
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1. Leave a glass slipper on the palace stairwell after midnight. Don’t let it break. That part is important. Also make sure it fits you and not your ugly sister.<br />2. Sleep for 100 years. You’ll look awesome after getting so much rest and will be able to marry anyone you want.<br />3. Learn how to get forest creatures to do your chores. This is a no-brainer whether you want to catch a prince or not.<br />4. Be a mermaid. Of course, this isn’t without sacrifice. Once you become a mermaid you have to choose between walking and talking, because you either have legs or a voice. Apparently princes prefer less articulate women because legs are mandatory for becoming a princess. Voices are optional.<br />5. Learn to like frogs and become an expert frog kisser. It’s a numbers game. You keep kissing a lot of frogs until one turns into a prince. This could take your whole life, but the good part is that once the frog becomes a prince he owes you one. So you’d have that going for you.<br />6. Turn into a swan at night. One of the easier methods, all things considered.<br />7. Grow your hair out several hundred feet and become a recluse in a tall dark tower. Princes dig Howard Hughes lookalikes.<br />8. Find a crazy dwarf alchemist who can spin straw into gold and make him a frenemy. Oh, you also need a baby as bait, so that complicates things here.<br />9. Be a princess first. Like attracts like, so if you’re already a princess you’re more likely to attract a prince.<br />10. Figure out that you’re worth far more than what you can catch. You don't need a prince to make your dreams come true.</blockquote>
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<br />Amy Neftzgerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07290229026909232592noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9088340476113994766.post-45564402125533066292015-02-12T06:25:00.002-08:002015-02-12T06:25:21.932-08:00The Sound Of The Author's VoiceI’ve been to readings and talks given by writers such as Margaret Atwood, Neil Gaiman, and Malcolm Gladwell. Author events aren’t a new phenomena - these have been popular for decades. In fact, I’ve read that Charles Dickens was one of the first author celebrities and did speaking tours that were highly attended. The book that discussed this topic also mentioned that prior to Dickens most authors had few public events or speaking engagements. It just wasn’t a “thing.”<br /><br />Recently I’ve come across a number of videos and recordings of authors who have passed away. I’ve enjoyed hearing these authors read their works or catching a glimpse of their personalities through their speaking patterns. What’s often interesting for me is how sometimes the sound of an author’s voice or their speech patterns don’t match what I had imagined.<br /><br />It’s been fun to get to know some of these authors through video or audio clips.<br />
Here are a few that I like:<br />
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Virginia Woolf </h3>
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Ernest Hemingway</h3>
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David Foster Wallace </h3>
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Roald Dahl </h3>
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<a href="https://soundcloud.com/brainpicker/sylvia-plath-reads-tulips-bbc" target="_blank">And here's an audio recording of Sylvia Plath reading her poem Tulips.</a></h3>
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Try doing a YouTube or Internet search for some of your favorite authors
and see if you can find any recordings. But don’t forget - the written
word has been around for thousands of years, while sound recordings are
just over 100 years old. So you won’t find recordings of authors who
weren’t alive during the past 120 years. Enjoy discovering new ways to connect with some of your favorite authors!</div>
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<br />Amy Neftzgerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07290229026909232592noreply@blogger.com0