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Some people use the term "nonsense" but I prefer to use the phrase "uncommonly sensed" because it's more reflective of creative types.

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Innovative Coffee

I love coffee.  In fact, one of my dreams is to own my own coffee shop, complete with an occasional impromptu beatnik poetry reciting.  Along these lines, I’ve come up with a few innovative and poetic coffees to serve that will differentiate my coffee shop from the average chain store.  Here are a few of them:
French Onion Roast 
The refreshing drink that eats like a meal.  
Is it coffee?  Is it soup? You decide!
Hare of the Dog
The first coffee to cure hangovers.  Served in a furry rabbit mug.
Eye-talian Roast
High in vitamin A to improve your vision.  Also served in a pair of fine Italian loafers. You thought I was going to put actual eyeballs in this one, didn’t you?  That would be too predictable.
Creamy White Boy
A smooth roast with a delicate skin.  Served by a male albino child with a smile.
Lottery Roast
One out of every 1,275,456,942 cups will be poisoned.  Is it yours? Do you feel lucky?  Did you remember to order the Antidote Scone with that beverage?
I did say that my coffees would be innovative.


  1. How about Gold Coast Blend. Gold leaf sprinkles on top and a gold-like nugget at the bottom. It would only be like $2000 for a cup.

  2. "One out of every 1,275,456,942 cups will be poisoned." :)
    I actually think you'd draw in quite a lot of risk-seeking customers with this type of advertisement. Although they may not be the clientele you want hanging around your coffee house all day. On the other hand, it could be an interesting crowd.

    How about 'Go-to-Guatamala-and-pick-your-own-beans-for-$3-a-Day Coffee'.

    1. I think you're onto something with the clientele. It would take "people watching"to a whole new level and draw in even more customers who want to watch all the risk-takers. Sounds like a goldmine to me...