Secrets to Winning the Lottery

People who know me well know that I have managed to win the lottery on several occasions.  Mind you, the most I won on any ticket was $28, but I did win more often than the stated odds.  With the Mega Millions drawing reaching half a billion, I know that a lot of other people may want to know my secrets.  So here they are:

First of all, be unemployed.  I don’t know why, but this seems to help.

Next, live in a trailer or other flimsy structure.  Luck needs to be able to seep into your home.  If you live in a fortress, luck will be unable to reach you.  I’m privileged enough to live in a house built by drunken vagrants and I’m also pretty sure that my house only passed inspection because someone was bribed.  Unfortunately, I’ve also been making repairs recently so I haven’t been as lucky.

Related to this concept, there are a number of other things that are detrimental to luck: a security system, storm doors and windows, and thick insulation.  Why? Because luck assumes that if you have all these other things that you don’t need it. Luck is emotionally needy.  Don’t judge it.  You need it, too.

Next, remember that luck congregates in dangerous neighborhoods.  Go there to buy your ticket.  But don’t use up all your luck trying to escape safely.  That could ruin your chances of winning.

I find that the lottery is like real estate and the secret to winning is location, location location.  This means that you need to find the right place to buy your ticket.  My rule of thumb is that the odds that the store is selling the winning ticket is directly proportional to the number of shotguns the owner keeps under the counter.  BTW - Any remote areas where you hear Dueling Banjos (and it's not coming from a radio) is usually a great place to buy a ticket.

Good luck. And may the odds be ever in your favor.

Innovative Coffee

I love coffee.  In fact, one of my dreams is to own my own coffee shop, complete with an occasional impromptu beatnik poetry reciting.  Along these lines, I’ve come up with a few innovative and poetic coffees to serve that will differentiate my coffee shop from the average chain store.  Here are a few of them:

French Onion Roast 

The refreshing drink that eats like a meal.  

Is it coffee?  Is it soup? You decide!

Hare of the Dog

The first coffee to cure hangovers.  Served in a furry rabbit mug.

Eye-talian Roast

High in vitamin A to improve your vision.  Also served in a pair of fine Italian loafers. You thought I was going to put actual eyeballs in this one, didn’t you?  That would be too predictable.

Creamy White Boy

A smooth roast with a delicate skin.  Served by a male albino child with a smile.

Lottery Roast

One out of every 1,275,456,942 cups will be poisoned.  Is it yours? Do you feel lucky?  Did you remember to order the Antidote Scone with that beverage?

I did say that my coffees would be innovative.

FF Blog Hop

 

Today I am participating in a blog hop to introduce myself and my readers to a few other book blogs.  For those of you who don't know what a "blog hop" is, you can think of it as a way to discover and follow other blogs that may be of interest to you.  This hop is hosted by  Parajunkee and Alison can Read.  Please browse through the list of participating blogs below to visit and/or follow as many as you'd like.  Along with the list of blogs, the hop asks participating blogs to answer the following question:

Q: What is the best book you’ve read in the last month? What is the worst book you’ve read in the last month?

Best book I have read this month: A Wind in the Door by Madeleine L'Engle.  More on this book in a future post.

Worst book: Lingua Latina.  The book has been a slow form of torture for myself and several others during the past year.  No further comments.

Art and Eternity

My band released our first video this week.  Here it is, for those of you who are interested.

At the end of the video I wanted to put the quote below, but we decided against it because we were afraid it would take away from the music.  So I thought I’d share it here where words are expected.

“The only thing that’s real...

The only thing that lasts...

Is the art.”

Does this mean that I think souls aren’t real?

No.  It means that I think that souls are works of art.  

Each of us is a work of art, not for how we look on the outside, but for who we are and how our life experiences have changed us.  Some souls are highly polished and refined with intricate details.  Some are rustic and weathered forms that are beautiful for what they are: simple and authentic.  Some of us are fragmented like a Picasso.  Others are dark and mysterious. We are all different and these differences make us beautiful.  How we respond to what life gives us has the potential to make us even more so.