Should Life be ISO 9000 Certified?

The purpose of the ISO 9000 certification program is to imbed quality and efficiency into business processes so that manufacturers produce better quality goods and more satisfied customers.  

So why aren’t more things ISO 900 certified?  It seems to me that there are things outside of business that could benefit from this sort of “stamp of approval.”  Below is my list of suggestions.

1. Parenthood.  This is at the top of my list because every parent I’ve known has asked for a manual to help them raise kids.  What if the process were streamlined so that you knew exactly the right thing to do in every situation?  
2. Dating.  What if you knew that your date was ISO 9000 certified so that you could expect everything to go perfectly?  The man would bring the right kind of flowers and you’d go to the best restaurants and never have to wait too long.  Everything would be standardized including the amount of cleavage the woman was expected to reveal in her outfit.
3. Churches.  This could be a huge bonus to churches who want to grow.  Think about what it would mean if your church could say: “85% of our congregation reaches Heaven.  Results you can believe in!”

These are just a few of my ideas.  Fantasy?  Sure.  Life has no guarantees. But the thought of trying to put a guarantee on it makes me laugh and that improves the quality of my life.