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Some people use the term "nonsense" but I prefer to use the phrase "uncommonly sensed" because it's more reflective of creative types.

Monday, April 25, 2011

5 Things the Easter Bunny Could do to Improve His Business Model


We all love Easter, but the holiday may be in danger due to some potential mismanagement issues.  My advice isn’t new, but I think it’s about time that someone said it to the Easter Bunny directly.
  1. Hopping from place to place is an outdated an inefficient mode of transportation.  Invest in something a little faster and more efficient.  Speed is, of course, paramount, but also remember that bunnies are not very tall so make sure the vehicle is low to the ground so that you can get in and out quickly.  
  2. It’s difficult to make a profit when you give away everything for free.  This is a very poor and self destructive business model.  You should be charging for your services or consumers will devalue the content you provide.  I strongly suggest that you start accepting all major credit cards or set up an account with PayPal to get payment in advance of the holiday.  Since children have been accustomed to receiving the goods for free they may by initially resistant to payment. Time for tough love.
  3. Expand your market to include others besides children.  Parents are the next logical market because of their close relationship with your current market segment.  Some product tie-ins may be things like ear plugs to block out the noise of rowdy children hyped up on excessive sugar.  These could be included in a nice basket that also contains bottles of aspirin, antacids, bath salts, and perhaps a little whiskey to help mom and dad get through the holiday.
  4. Focusing on one event a year will not sustain your business on a daily basis.  You simply need more Easters.  While you could create other streams of revenue, such as new holidays, the cost of product development will eat you alive before the holidays become viable sources of income.
  5. You can’t be everywhere at the same time, so we all know that you have a number of bunnies in your employment.  This is overhead.  Bunnies also tend to have large families. Insuring these ever growing rabbit families is extremely expensive.  In addition, you’re probably carrying some hefty accidental death and dismemberment premiums on these extra bunnies because of the risk involved in such things as crossing busy streets in the dark while being under 12 inches tall and entering houses with dogs. It would be prudent to find a way to automate the process of basket delivery or outsource the work to a third party.  Of course, this would also mean that kids would get their baskets the Friday before or the Monday after the holiday to accommodate the delivery schedule of these carriers. However, this would also solve the issue in point number 1 above concerning hopping.  Think about it.
I could go on, but I’ll stop here so that you can consider my advice.  This is textbook stuff, Mr. Easter Bunny.  Wake up and smell the carrots before your business goes under.  We care about your holiday.  It’s about time that you did.

2 comments:

  1. Roald Dahl once said: "A little nonsense now and then is practiced by the wisest men." The wisdom of business logic is often taken to the extreme edge of nonsense. In fact, I've met a number of business people who were so wise they were downright fools :)

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