A Lesson in Trees

Nirvana said that Mother Nature is a whore. They were wrong. She’s a pimp and the Bradford Pear is a whore among trees, as I have written in my previous post located here. I’ve accumulated some additional evidence from a recent storm to help illustrate my point.

This is what happens when Mother Nature the Pimp helps you spread your pollen and you don’t pay her back:

Here’s what happens when Mother Nature sends squirrels and other desperate animals your way and you don’t give her a cut of the nuts stored in your trunk:

And here’s what happens when you allow regular customers (such as birds) to dwell in your branches for free:

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Lesson:

Don’t mess with a pimp or she will mess you up.

Some people think that pine trees are whores because they’re weak trees. Not the same thing. When you plant a young pine sapling, it shoots up as fast as it can. This makes them the crack junkies of the tree world.

This is what happens when a crack junkie shoots up too quickly:

Lesson:

Pine trees are junkies and their habit of shooting up can really mess up your yard.