Tuesday, August 14, 2012
It’s an election year and the debates are taking place concerning a wide range of topics. Most of us are tired of partisan issues and want to see some general improvements in government that make our general quality of life better. With this in mind, I’ve put together a few laws that I think we could all get behind.
1.) Any activity on a deck will require beer. This extends the current law requiring beer during boring activities such as pressure washing, carpentry, staining your deck, or using power tools. The new law will also mandate beer during simple activities, such as family BBQs. (Note: we’ll attach a clause to allow wine or hard liquor as an acceptable alternative for those of us who don’t drink beer. The point is that decks were made for drinking.).
2.) People who drive slow in the left lane should be kidnapped by aliens and used for experiments. What? They already do this? Well, maybe they could be probed more slowly to get the point across that slow is not always the best way to go.
3.) Lift kits should be banned and hefty fines imposed upon those who violate this law. These are the source of many unsightly freakish accidents that can cause nightmares or require therapy. By the way, I’m not talking about the ones used on cars and trucks, I’m talking about the ones used by people with sagging skin who wind up with faces that look like an image stretched out on silly putty. Don’t hurt the ones you love by forcing them to look at your distorted collagen features.
Well, these are my initial ideas. I'm sure there are a lot more and you're welcome to share them in the comments section.