The laundry room in this household has instituted a zero tolerance policy on loitering.
Starting today all rogue socks will be terminated on site.
Please note that the buddy system was previously put into place in order to help socks find a suitable partner and encourage them to find a home in a respectable drawer. If you are a rogue sock and do not have a partner we suggest that you find one immediately or risk being terminated. As this household has an equal opportunity policy, sock partners may cross color and fiber boundaries. However, any unmatched socks left in the laundry room will be considered a threat to household security and terminated on site.
This is a fair warning: I am packing heat. It’s called the dryer and I’m exceptionally skilled at using it. So don’t test me. Any sock caught loitering in and around the laundry room will be terminated on site or worse - made into puppets.
Thank you for your cooperation.
Sincerely,
Household Management
LOL! I don't even think I have one pair (maybe one) that actually matches- I hate socks- except the warm, wintery kind- other than that, it's flip flops or bare foot for me : ) ~ Jess
ReplyDeleteMy daughter quit matching her socks, but she does keep the color combinations the same. So she might have stripes on one foot and polka dots or plaid on the other. Her socks will survive the purge because they're not loitering in the laundry room.
DeleteMy mum usually followed up commands like that with a saucepan around the back of the head.
ReplyDeleteI hope the saucepan was empty...
DeleteOh,oh. Love the legalese. When my pup steals a sock from my husband's shoe it becomes a defenseless rogue.
ReplyDelete