Welcome to whatever is on my mind!

Some people use the term "nonsense" but I prefer to use the phrase "uncommonly sensed" because it's more reflective of creative types.

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

How to Deal with Mondays


Research has shown us that more heart attacks take place on Monday mornings than any other day of the week.  But we don’t need research to tell us that Mondays are dangerous.  We already know that this day of the week packs more bad luck and  unbridled evil than any other day of the week.  So what can we do about it?  I have a few suggestions to get this discussion started.
1. Name the next Bond Villain “Monday” to immortalize the evil nature of this day in film.   This doesn’t solve anything, but it will make us feel better when Bond eventually blows him up.
2. Develop a vaccine against Mondays to prevent them from erupting every week.
3. Sell “Monday Insurance” to help guarantee an uneventful Monday.  For each Monday that goes poorly the insured person would collect a payment of $5k.  Of course, Mondays would still suck... but we’d never have to work again.
4. Launder Mondays and distribute them to drug dealers in third world countries. They won’t know what they have until it’s too late.  Then the Monday overload will cause their operations to crumble and we have the added bonus of solving the drug problem.
5. Mail them to Antarctica.  The cold air will freeze them and prevent them from doing harm or multiplying.  Plus, this strategy benefits the U.S. Postal system, which desperately needs our business.  Mondays tend to be very heavy, and thus, very profitable.
6. Sentence convicted Wall Street Investors to live all our Mondays for us while we get to watch.  Make it a reality show.  The advertising dollars can go to support Social Security before it goes bankrupt.
7. Put all the Mondays in a padded cell, force their eyes open with toothpicks, and make them watch American Idol auditions so that these Mondays can get a sample of the pain they cause us.
The list is endless.  I only know that Mondays are hell.  It’s time we put Mondays in hell.

21 comments:

  1. Cryo-chambers for Mondays?

    Clones that have the sole purpose of getting through Mondays while we stay in bed with chocolate cake?

    Chocolate cake that instantly makes Mondays skip on to Tuesdays?

    CHOCOLATE CAKE!!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Chocolate cake is nature's remedy for most ailments. :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. That was hilariously well written! Thanks for the visit and follow!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for stopping by here - looking forward to following your posts!

      Delete
  4. LOL. I like Mondays, but that's because I work from home. Mondays are peaceful for me.

    Thanks for stopping by my blog for the blog hop. It's nice to meet you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I work form home, too. But Mondays are still painful for me (especially getting kids off to school after the weekend...). Nice meeting you, also!

      Delete
  5. Hi Amy thanks for finding me through the Blog Hop I am now following your blog too. I look forward to reading your posts.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Claire, I love your profile photo! Awesome looking cat!

      Delete
  6. Hi, Amy! Taking time out from rescuing kittens to pop by on the Blog Hop, say hello, and add your "Leftover Shorts" to my Goodreads to-read list... Have a great day!

    Edward
    http://read-write-listen.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, Edward - wonderful to meet you and hope your weekend if going well!

      Delete
  7. Sometimes I find myself dreading Mondays, but most of the time, I don't mind them. But I only want to deal with my Monday, no one else's!

    Very clever!!

    Thanks for dropping by my blog. I am following you back

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No one should have to deal with the pain of someone else's Monday Each MOnday brings enough pain on its own! :)

      Delete
  8. I laughed out load so naturally my husband had to know what I was reading. He laughed out loud! I love how you solve some of our nation's deepest problems by dealing with Mondays!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Glad you liked it and hope your weekend is going well!

      Delete
  9. You are a great writer, Amy! Thanks so much for stopping by. I am happy to follow you back!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, Heather - great connecting with you!

      Delete
  10. How about a four day work week without Mondays!!!!!!!!!!! Cute post Amy!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I like the idea of a four day work week!

      Delete
  11. Hi Amy! It' nice to meet you. I'm just popping over from Ruby's Reads blog. I'm so thrilled that you've got a Masters degree in Industrial/Organizational Psychology. I will be doing my Masters this year and I've become acquainted with very few people in this profession thus far. I am hoping to get to know many professionals like yourself and get a feel for what Industrial Psychology is like out there in the real world (as opposed to within the pages of textbooks). I couldn't find a GFC button (must be a problem with my browser) but I will follow you via e-mail. Thank you for this informative post on publishing!:)

    Best wishes for 2012!:)

    Sarah

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for stopping by, Sarah! I/O is not a large field so there aren't too many of us.

      And, yes, I've been too lazy to put a GFC button on my blog - I need to get around to doing that soon to make it easier to follow. Right now the following options are through blogger (at the top), RSS feed, and email. But you've just given me a little prod - I'll look into that friend connect button before the end of the week. You're making me a better person already! :)

      Delete
    2. Just added GFC. It wasn't as difficult as I thought. Just needed a few minutes to look it up!

      Delete