There are certain things my dog despises and, given my dog’s strong sensible nature and excellent judge of character, I must also question the things that she abhors. I’m not saying that she’s a genius. She simply has a sixth sense that provides her with an uncanny ability to identify the sinister nature of specific matters. Like my ex husband. She barks viciously whenever he comes anywhere close to the house. There are some things that dogs just know by instinct.
With this in mind, I’ve compiled a list of things she hates so that the rest of us may learn from her. These may be things that the rest of us would do well to avoid.
1.) Crows. I’m pretty sure my dog drops the F-bomb in doggie talk when she sees them. Other birds seem to be fine, but crows make her rush forward, jump in the air and scream “get the @#$% outta here!!!”
2.) Dogs on television. They really have no business being there. Sort of like the Kardashians.
3.) Small portions. When I feed her a tiny sample I always get the annoyed look that says “Do I look stupid? Because I know there’s at least a pound of brie on that counter, only two of us, and this little micron is not 50% of said quantity.”
4.) Flies. A no brainer: flies are attracted to some of the most unsanitary places. Like reality TV shows.
5.) The vacuum cleaner. She probably learned this one from me because I hate vacuuming. I think her goal is to attack and break it so that I don’t ever have to vacuum again. That’s loyalty. Genius!
This has been a public service message from my dog. BTW she is over 70 lbs and has extremely strong jaws, so you might want to pay attention.