Welcome to whatever is on my mind!

Some people use the term "nonsense" but I prefer to use the phrase "uncommonly sensed" because it's more reflective of creative types.

Monday, November 14, 2011

Things My Dog Hates

There are certain things my dog despises and, given my dog’s strong sensible nature and excellent judge of character, I must also question the things that she abhors. I’m not saying that she’s a genius.  She simply has a sixth sense that provides her with an uncanny ability to identify the sinister nature of specific matters.  Like my ex husband.  She barks viciously whenever he comes anywhere close to the house.  There are some things that dogs just know by instinct.
With this in mind, I’ve compiled a list of things she hates so that the rest of us may learn from her.  These may be things that the rest of us would do well to avoid.
1.) Crows.  I’m pretty sure my dog drops the F-bomb in doggie talk when she sees them.  Other birds seem to be fine, but crows make her rush forward, jump in the air and scream “get the @#$% outta here!!!”
2.) Dogs on television. They really have no business being there.  Sort of like the Kardashians.  
3.) Small portions.  When I feed her a tiny sample I always get the annoyed look that says “Do I look stupid? Because I know there’s at least a pound of brie on that counter, only two of us, and this little micron is not 50% of said quantity.”
4.) Flies.  A no brainer: flies are attracted to some of the most unsanitary places.  Like reality TV shows.  
5.) The vacuum cleaner.  She probably learned this one from me because I hate vacuuming.  I think her goal is to attack and break it so that I don’t ever have to vacuum again.  That’s loyalty. Genius!
This has been a public service message from my dog.  BTW she is over 70 lbs and has extremely strong jaws, so you might want to pay attention.


  1. I actually, literally, laughed out loud at your Kardashians comment. A huge high five to you. *high five!* If your dog actually barks at the Kardashians when they come on the tv, I think I may just fall in love with her.

  2. Your dog sounds wonderful and he's a very handsome guy too.

  3. LOL! Love it. What a beautiful dog, and smart! I would love her advice regarding my dog, Jack and his somewhat odd behavior: so, Jack is a Golden Chow- he has an odd habit of moving my shoes around the house and poignantly placing them in different spots. He doesn't chew them, just surreptitiously picks them up and puts them in bizarre locations- such as; one on the couch, one in my bed- or one will be on my boyfriends bed and one will be in the middle of the kitchen. What does it mean??? Is it a reward, or a punishment- in the case of my boyfriend, I think it's a reward for good behavior when Jack gives him one of my shoes. Not sure- would love to hear another dog's opinion : )
    Great blog! Glad I stumbled on it ~ Jess ( I always show up as my main character, Fairday Morrow- haven't quite figured out how to fix that!)

  4. Fairday,

    Your dog is teaching you the art of zen by moving your "possessions" around the house. Once you come to accept that these things do not belong to you and you willingly give them up, your dog will take you to the next level: the art of fetch. In fact, you may already be moving in that direction since your dog allows you to retrieve the items and put them back where you think they "belong."

  5. Amy,
    Love your sense of humor ... and your dog's! She sounds like a great companion. All pets should be so lucky to have someone like you in their lives.

    ... and Cookie, the cat

  6. Thanks, Marilyn and Cookie! I think that pets are some of the best companions :)