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Some people use the term "nonsense" but I prefer to use the phrase "uncommonly sensed" because it's more reflective of creative types.

Wednesday, May 14, 2014

The Four Seasons of Nashville

Those of you looking for information about the TV show - stop reading now. Anyone else interested in the basics of Nashville weather may continue onward.

When I first moved to Nashville people told me that Nashville had four seasons, but that Spring and Fall were much longer than other areas of the country. After living here for more than two decades I’d like to clear up a few things.

First of all, Nashville does have four seasons, but they’re not the traditional ones that I remember from my childhood in Chicago. I’ve redefined these for people who are planning to visit (or move to) the area. It’s important to prepare your wardrobe and expectations accordingly. The four seasons of Nashville are as follows:

Season 1
Tourist season. This is the longest and also the time of year that locals avoid certain areas of town. It’s roughly equivalent to what some people refer to as “Summer” and may also be referred to as “hotter than @#$%@!.”

Season 2
Autumn is the season when the trees drop their leaves, despite the temperature still being “pretty @#$^# hot!”

Season 3
Nashville has a season I like to refer to as “colder with occasional glimpses of winter.” Being raised in the North, it’s difficult to take this attempt at winter seriously, but I do my best to keep a straight face when people refer to it in that manner.

Season 4
Allergy season. This is when the trees bud and flowers bloom, and people who didn’t have allergies before coming to Nashville develop them.

A final bit of advice:
Remember that if you’re in Nashville when the weather forecast includes snow or flooding, it’s a local ritual to run out to the store and buy up all the milk, toilet paper, bread, and alcohol. The people of Nashville take this ritual very seriously. If you don’t follow the protocol it’s akin to breaking a mirror or something along those lines. I don’t know what bad things happen if you don’t follow the custom, but it must be pretty serious if the whole town engages in these behaviors. So why take a risk?

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