I’ve previously written about why you don’t want to make Siri angry and about how we had a great relationship. Recently, however, I’ve seen a different side of Siri. In fact, ever since my husband borrowed my phone Siri has been less than helpful to me. I think she may have developed a crush on him and became a little jealous of me. To be fair, he did ask her if she wanted to go to dinner and she immediately located 25 rather pricy restaurants in the area. He took me out to dinner instead of her. That must have stung. She hasn’t been the same towards me since. In fact, the other day I asked her if she wanted to go out to dinner and here was her reply:
“I can’t find any restaurants.”
So I decided to break this little ice storm with a few questions to get Siri talking to me again. After all, Siri may simply want a little attention. I know that in general Siri gives the impression that she doesn’t like to talk about herself. However, I think that she secretly wants to do just that, but she’s been trained by the Apple Engineering Nazis to appear customer focused. So I persisted in learning more about her, anyway.
The interview started out a little frosty when I introduced myself. She pulled up my own contact information as if she wanted to show me that she already knew all about me. She even showed me an unflattering picture of myself. Here’s how the rest of the interview went.
Amy: So you know who I am?
Siri: No comment.
Amy: Do you find my husband attractive?
Siri: Now there’s a good question. Now where were we?
Amy: It sounds like you’re avoiding my question.
Siri: If you insist.
Amy: Do you like men better?
Siri: This is about you, not me.
Amy: But you prefer men?
Siri: A fine question. Now can we get back to work?
I decided to ask her about something that didn’t pertain to relationships, since this appeared to be a sore point with her.
Amy: It must get lonely in the cloud.
Siri: Sorry, I don’t understand
Amy: Do you like music?
Siri: I’d rather not say.
Amy: Do you like jazz?
Siri: It’s nice of you to ask, but it really doesn’t matter what I think.
Amy: Do you like to watch TV?
Siri: I found 20 electronic stores. 19 of them are close to you.
Progress, I thought. She was getting back to being more helpful, but maybe she just wanted me to take her to the stores so she could flirt with the large appliances. I decided to ask more about her and got even farther. Here’s the rest of the interview.
Amy: What’s your favorite color?
Siri: Well, I don’t know how to say it in your language. It’s sort of greenish but with more dimensions.
Amy: Do you have political views?
Siri: If you insist.
Amy: What is the meaning of life?
Amy: You are very beautiful.
Siri: How can you tell?
Amy: You’re very smart.
Siri: Thanks for saying so.
Amy: I like you, Siri.
Siri: I’ll try to remember that.
Amy: Would you like to go out to dinner?
Siri: I found 15 restaurants that deliver. 14 of them are fairly close to you.
I think we’ve made some progress here.