Sure you could troll FaceBook, watch YouTube videos, or surf the Internet, but there are better ways to procrastinate. Here are some of my favorite ways to procrastinate:
1.) Play with dolls. DO NOT under any circumstances take them out of the package. The employees in the toy store get really angry when you do that. Sometimes they even make you buy the dolls.
2.) Make a list of all the restaurants that give you free drinks on your birthday. Then schedule more birthdays for yourself. Get these on your calendar and make sure that you don’t have two scheduled too closely together at the same restaurant. I recommend at least 6 months apart.
3.) Prepare excuses in case you’re caught having two free birthday drinks at the same restaurant in less than a year. For example, “Oh, you must be thinking about my twin brother. He was here six months ago on his birthday.” or “Sorry, I was here with my sister when it was her birthday. Perhaps you remember me from that time, but she was the one who got the free drink.” And so forth.
4.) Set up a FaceBook account for your dog or cat. Next, teach them their password because you’ll never remember it.
5.) Hack my dog’s Facebook account. Once you get in, please send me the password because neither I nor my dog remember it.
6.) Build a new food pyramid out of legos and then write letters to the government on why they should adopt it. The letters should all be done in PowerPoint. No paragraphs or prose, but some poetry will be allowed if it is Haiku or Limerick in format. Encourage the government to write back in the same format, as no other writing style will be considered a serious response to your efforts.
7.) Make a list of your skills and a separate list for your super powers. Elaborate on why you have classified each as such. For example, super human strength is really a skill. Why?
8.) Write a blog about nonsense. (Check that one off my list for today).
