What I Saw in Virginia

I'm on my way to Book Expo America and passed through Virginia yesterday. You know what I saw? Cows. I kept thinking about that travel slogan: "Virginia is for Lovers" and thought it should have been "Virginia is for Lovers of Cows." Don't get me wrong. These were very industrious cows. Grass doesn't eat itself, you know. Someone has to chomp it down all day and that's what the cows are for.

I tried to snap a few pictures. I passed Hurt Lane on the way to get coffee. I wondered what happened on that street to give it that name or who lives there and how the street name impacts property values. This is the stuff I think about.

We passed "Famous Anthony's Restaurant." What is he famous for? It's better that you don't know. Especially if you're planning to eat there. (Actually I don't know anything about it, but thought the name was ironic since the owner was virutally unknown).

I also saw a store called "Super Shoes." I figure that this is where super heroes go to buy their work shoes.

Travel is always interesting. I learn new things all the time. Back on the road today ...

What I Really Wanted for Mother’s Day

This year I ordered a case of wine for myself for Mother’s Day. I took the liberty of signing the card from my kids and writing a touching message that was so moving, it brought tears to my eyes. Note: I’m deducting the cost of the wine from the kids’ allowances.

While a case of decent wine is nice, I decided to make a list of the things I would have really wanted for Mothers Day. This list could be useful if my kids decide to go shopping next year. So here it is:

1. Bring Freddie Mercury back from the dead and restore him to perfect health.

2. Queen reunion tour (after #1 above is successfully completed).

3. A house with an awesome bathtub in the master bathroom so that I can have quiet time alone.

4. Someplace nice for the rest of the family to live. Hey - I’m not greedy. I want them to be comfortable, too. I just don’t want them where they can bother me all the time and ask for stuff.

5. To go to Paris. You can never be too rich, too thin, or go to Paris too much.

So, there you go, kids! You have almost a whole year to shop. But you might want to get started now because some of these could take a bit of planning. Of course, you can always pick up after yourselves, do all your homework, get good grades, clean the house, help with the chores without being asked, and stop asking for money all the time. I just figured that my list would be easier for you.

Requirements for My New Home

I'm in the process of selling my house and looking for a new one. In order to make things easier for my real estate agent, I've put together a list of house requirements.  Here they are:


1. The house should be self-cleaning. That’s a no brainer. I just don’t have time to clean a house. Unless the house is less than three years old, it really should know how to clean itself, anyway.

2. A secret room with a door that’s hidden behind a bookcase. I’ve been after the husband to build one for me, but it hasn’t happened yet. He’s tried to convince me that he already built one and that it’s so secret that only he knows where it is. But I don’t believe him.

3. Apparently Johnny Depp has recently bought a home in Nashville. I will consider any house next door to him, even if it isn’t self-cleaning. However, the secret room behind the bookshelf is still a requirement.

4. A library. This can be either inside of the secret room or outside of it or (preferably) both.

5. The house must be kitsch-proof. It’s a well-known fact that kitsch is like kudzu in some areas of suburbia, so my house is probably going to need to be in a slightly more urban area. Cookie cutter houses are also prone to kitsch, so the house will need to be unique.

6. It should have at least one large bathroom with a deep bathtub in which I can soak for hours to read. Soundproof walls so that I can’t hear the kids calling for me would be a bonus.

These are my top requirements. A kitchen would be nice, but having one in the house can often lead to the pressure to do some cooking, so I’m okay without one. Unless it already comes with a cook, of course.