Welcome to whatever is on my mind!

Some people use the term "nonsense" but I prefer to use the phrase "uncommonly sensed" because it's more reflective of creative types.

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Eight Ways to Procrastinate


Sure you could troll FaceBook, watch YouTube videos, or surf the Internet, but there are better ways to procrastinate.  Here are some of my favorite ways to procrastinate:
1.) Play with dolls.  DO NOT under any circumstances take them out of the package.  The employees in the toy store get really angry when you do that.  Sometimes they even make you buy the dolls.
2.) Make a list of all the restaurants that give you free drinks on your birthday.  Then schedule more birthdays for yourself.  Get these on your calendar and make sure that you don’t have two scheduled too closely together at the same restaurant.  I recommend at least 6 months apart.
3.) Prepare excuses in case you’re caught having two free birthday drinks at the same restaurant in less than a year.  For example, “Oh, you must be thinking about my twin brother.  He was here six months ago on his birthday.” or “Sorry, I was here with my sister when it was her birthday.  Perhaps you remember me from that time, but she was the one who got the free drink.”  And so forth.
4.) Set up a FaceBook account for your dog or cat.  Next, teach them their password because you’ll never remember it.
5.) Hack my dog’s Facebook account.  Once you get in, please send me the password because neither I nor my dog remember it.
6.) Build a new food pyramid out of legos and then write letters to the government on why they should adopt it.  The letters should all be done in PowerPoint.  No paragraphs or prose, but some poetry will be allowed if it is Haiku or Limerick in format.  Encourage the government to write back in the same format, as no other writing style will be considered a serious response to your efforts.
7.) Make a list of your skills and a separate list for your super powers.  Elaborate on why you have classified each as such.  For example, super human strength is really a skill.  Why?
8.) Write a blog about nonsense.  (Check that one off my list for today).

9 comments:

  1. Have you been watching me today Amy? LOL

    ReplyDelete
  2. @ The Desert Rocks I think we were at the same restaurant requesting free drinks. We should coordinate our birthdays so they don't catch on ;)

    ReplyDelete
  3. BornStoryteller, I sympathize. I've just discovered Mad Men on Netflix. :)

    ReplyDelete
  4. #4 and 5- Facebook will no longer allow that. We were tremendously saddened when the dictatorial Facebook shut down our dog's account.

    #7- I didn't realize I had ever sent you a copy of my resume.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Matt, One of my dogs still has a Facebook account and she passed away six months ago. Just don't let Facebook know the account belongs to a dog.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Hahaha, I loved this :)

    I'm procrastinating by blog reading. SO not as fun as these - time to get creative. Might try that b-day free drink one out :D

    ReplyDelete
  7. I did set up a Facebook page for my dog. I told her the password, but she refused to tell me what it was, so I had to go through the process of setting up a new password and this time I wrote it down. I think I'll pass on the playing with dolls, but I do like the idea of scheduling more birthdays. Now if I can just keep that schedule in a safe place, I think I can swing this 'free drink' thing.

    ReplyDelete
  8. ILoveMyDogandMy Music and Marisa, I make it a policy to celebrate as many birthdays as often as I can but never to get older. Life is a lot more fun this way. I highly recommend it.

    ReplyDelete
  9. lol- I don't know if I need any more ways to procrastinate- but I enjoyed reading these! I love the free birthday drinks idea! Brilliant!

    ~Jess

    ReplyDelete